b3ta.com user Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs
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Profile for Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs:
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As of the beginning of May 2008 I had 3 posts in over 4 years. This has been described as "Monumental Lurkage" by one "Barry" who had a "head" "wound".

I now demand said "Monument" for lurking. Please. It would look great in the woods, where no-one will see it ever again and from henceforth shall become only local legend.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Public Transport Trauma

I you think the London Underground is bad, you should try the Shanghai Metro at rush hour. After flying for 12 hours. Whilst carrying a 65 litre rucksack, a 20 litre daysack and a carrier bag with a mint chocolate Thorntons Easter egg.
Do this for seven stops packed in like a sardine, only to have to change at the busiest interchange that is people's square, go two more stops to the main train station, then after queues of epic proportions and standing-room-only waiting rooms finally get on a train to Hangzhou.
And after you do all that, after you find your seat and put down all your bags, then proceed to sit down only to realise that you've just sat on the Easter Egg.

The one you dragged half way around the world for your girlfriend.

That you kept with you at all times just to keep it safe.

The one that has the special message written on it in Chinese for her.

The one that survived the plane, the monorail, the shanghai metro rush hour and some crazy ticket queue people.

The very same one that is now cracking under the pressure of your very own arse.

That's trauma. If not for the egg, then at least for my arse (it was quite hard).
(Thu 29th May 2008, 20:42, More)

» My most treasured possession

The most sentimental...or not.
If only allowed to run back for one item, I would take the framed picture of my one love, taken on the day after we first met. It's a photo of her posing with a tree next to West Lake in Hangzhou, wearing this saucy orange and black dress which she no longer has. The memories are still strong after the years, but it's nice to have a memento too.

Sentimental yes, but also inside the frame is another photo which is a bit too risqué for public display. Those black silk panties also no longer exist...well if the flame of my house burning down don't keep me warm, this photo is guaranteed to do the trick instead.
(Thu 8th May 2008, 17:13, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Haven't checked all the pages...
...but I thought better spread the word anyway to help support anyone who is being disbelieved.

Whilst travelling in Bolivia, we came across a supermarket to gather supplies for our trek up some cold rock, when we came across one of the most popular brands down there.

A brand called Fanny.

Shevels upon shelves of Fanny Jam, tins and tins of dolphin friendly Fanny Tuna.

To top it off, just down the street was a Fanny Hairdressers. The locals looked most confused as we rolled around on the floor.
(Sun 15th Jun 2008, 12:52, More)

» Pet Peeves

Need more Rageahol
As a Learner driver, what is sure to bring out the insanely violent spastic ocelot that is anger is assuredly other drivers. In my brief hours so far of being on the roads, I've encountered:
-Telepathic drivers who presumably think everyone else is able to pick up on their brainwaves so that they don't need to indicate.
-Silver Mercedez that overtake whilst the care ahead is waiting at a T junction, pulling out into fast moving traffic all whilst talking on their mobile phone.
-cars that not only drive on the wrong side of the road, but will accelerate when they get closer to you.
-so many people who have a different speedometer to mine, so that 30 for them corresponds to 60 on mine. I see far too many people pulling away into the distance despite me driving at the limit.

I'm really looking forward to passing my test, just so I can then stop driving.

Also, organised religion, specifically ignorant people in organised religion. If in discussion the reasons as to why one joined such a religious body comes up, at any point should the phrase "Millions of people can't be wrong" be spoken then I may be obliged to offer a dandruff salad with a side order of "fuck you". Following the herd is not a good reason to justify your moral and ethical reasoning, especially when you're part of a relatively small religion like the Church of England. If "Millions of people can't be wrong", then why aren't they all part of the biggest religion in numerical terms? Islam is now bigger than Catholicism, should the pope convert? If the Chinese state enforced their state religion of Atheism on their populace, does that mean the numerists will drop their Jesus worship as 1.3 billion people can't be wrong apparantly? I suppose the totally bollocks statements is what really sets me off, as in they can say stuff like that seriously and it might not get questioned.
Also the whole "believing in something that if actually proved would undermine the whole belief system" and the claims of "we are the one true religion, not them over they who are almost exactly identical except for their different coloured hats, those bastards!" doesn't help calm me down either.
(Sat 3rd May 2008, 2:25, More)