b3ta.com user danielrendall
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» Running away

Ran away from the school bus and ended up beating it home...
For reasons which I've sadly forgotten (but which probably involved me being a twat), I decided to forego the school bus home and walk the three miles to my village instead. I set off before the bus did, but it drove past me on the road out of town and many of my fellow pupils on board were clearly pointing and laughing at me.

However, about 30 seconds later and purely coincidentally, my piano teacher happened to drive past. He spotted me and gave me a lift back more or less to my door via a slightly faster route than the bus took. Consequently I was able to get to the bus top nearby in time to greet the other kids getting off the bus, much to their amazement...
(Sun 13th Aug 2006, 13:18, More)

» When animals attack...

I was visiting Unst (the northernmost Shetland island) with my family as a young lad. We were walking to the northernmost point of the island and predictably I was running ahead. I heard a flapping of wings behind me, turned and came face to face with an Arctic Skua (locally known as a bonxie) diving at me to protect its territory.

As a small child, seeing a large bird of prey at a range of about a metre was reasonably scary and so I dropped to the ground and screamed. Naturally, my family some distance behind me assumed that I'd run over a cliff, this was my final scream as I fell to my doom and so they came running. The inevitable consequence of which was that another bonxie dived at my mother, hit her on the side of the head and knocked her over.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 14:34, More)

» Scars with history

Helping with the cooking
When I was about 5, we were visiting my grandma and had just eaten some chips, made in a chip pan. I thought that the helpful thing to do would be to lift the chip-pan off the cooker by the handle which was sticking out above me.

The result - a screaming child drenched in boiling fat and 25 years later a 2" scar on my chest and the remnants of one on my left arm. It could have been much worse had I not been wearing a thick jumper which protected my skin from the initial impact, and no-one has any idea how I missed my face with it.

Of course, it didn't help that our long-suffering Citroen 2CV chose that day to break down, delaying my arrival at the hospital somewhat.

I also have scars on the knuckles of my left hand resulting from an unfortunate 'going downhill on a bike too fast and skidding off at the bottom over a load of gravel' incident later in life...
(Sun 6th Feb 2005, 20:03, More)