b3ta.com user DryGoldfish
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» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Stealth Farting
I'm a teacher in a secondary school. When I need to fart and I'm in the classroom I hold it in until I'm near some pupils I don't like very much and drop an Silent BUT Deadly and then walk away. The hard part is trying not to laugh at the accusing looks on their faces as they blame each other cos miss couldn't possibly have farted! Mwhahahahahahahaha!
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 18:48, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

Got in a cab outside of A Gay bar in Newcastle, me being gay and frequenting such places. A large queue of people behind me waiting for cabs.

Cabbie gets on his radio and informs his collegues that he is 'Picking up at faggots' and that there is a queue

Then he turns around and says 'no offence'
I said the same when I didn't give him a tip
(Thu 27th May 2004, 21:08, More)

» Housemates

Poo Cup
I have lived in many shared houses over the years and my expectations are low.

I lived in a huge house with a lot of international housemates and a few scousers

I walked in to the communal bathroom one day to see a cup with a spoon sticking out of it. I really should have known not to look but curiosity got the better of me. Some foul being had shat in a cup and then left it in the bathroom for someone else to find.
(Fri 27th Feb 2009, 23:14, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

As this has turned in to a rant about things we don't like
Shopmobility scooter mentality
Don't mind about people using them but fekking hell its a scooter not a harley - you are not king/queen of the pavement so stop speeding! Also the supermarket has limited isle space chat to your mates at the cafe do not clog up the isles.

Elderly shoppers
You are off all week why choose a busy Saturday/Sunday to do your shopping and tut at the young busy people?
(Sun 18th Oct 2009, 13:52, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

The Mr Chips moment
I finished a teaching degree in April 2007 and I was really undecided about going into the profession. It was tough and not what I expected and quite frankly I needed a rest but after 2 years of skintness needed a job. I decided to become a supply teacher for the year and see if that could help me decide what to do.

The first 11/2 terms were hell on toast (you know how kids in crap schools treat supply teachers) and I kept getting sent to crap schools. I was having a bad year, found a lump* and had to move to a new place after inadvertently moving in with nutters** until the supply agency sent me to a new school.

The pupils at this school suffered from anxiety disorders and were so traumatized by bullies that they couldn't deal with regular school. This was the carling of teaching jobs - small classes of lovely kids who work hard. They all got top marks, one lad getting a grade A GCSE in three months. Unfortunately the school couldn't afford to keep me on :(

I need to say thankyou to those kids for giving me my Mr Chips moment so early in my teaching career - some teachers never get that. I'm now working at a good school and mostly enjoying it and when the little buggers drive me up the wall I think back to that school and those kids and know that I'm a good teacher.

*Thankfully just a cyst
**I wasn't using door handles properly they demonstrated how to do this
(Sat 4th Oct 2008, 19:23, More)
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