b3ta.com user mykeymyke
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» Sacked

I'm Really Not Dangerous
I started a new job at a telecommunications company and after being there a month or so I felt comfortable enough to just relax and be myself. However my new found collegues were not quite as relaxed as I was.
I arrived at work one day and the room was strangely quiet and pensive as I entered. I sat down but within 5 mins my boss arrived wideyed and frightened.
He asked "did you not recieve the message I left on your phone"
My phone, having run out of batteries, was useless.
He then asked me to follow him while nervous eyes from the room followed me in turn.
He took me down a long hallway and into a room marked "Human Resources" and it was there that I had learnt that several staff members had become frightened of me and that I had left a notebook behind the previous evening and, upon someone reading it, it had circulated around the office. They told me that they were firing me for "serious miscondust' due to my behaviour which was deemed 'dangerous'.
I knew then that everybody in office thought that I had recieved a call asking me not come to work but I had come in anyway and could very well be armed and dangerous.
I was furious and decided to get up and leave. I was halfway down the street when I realized I had left all my gear underneath my desk so I had to go back and get it.
When I entered the office again I made sure to burst quickly through doors quickly and suddenly so I could watch with amusement as my former collegues dived for cover under their desks!

Funnily enough, many years later, one of those people who did dive for cover works again in the same office as me. He doesnt quite remember why he knows me but I catch him staring at me with a concerned look every now and then.....
(Thu 2nd Mar 2006, 1:18, More)

» Slang Survey

Slang
Came up with a few around a BBQ one night. All terms of abuse,

Urine Gourd
Meat Hole

When I turned and called my friend a "Feces Purse" he replyed with a great one, spat out in anger...
"Flappy Slap Bags"

I think thats a winner.
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 4:37, More)