b3ta.com user firstinch
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Profile for firstinch:
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formerly - first inch is the worst!

This is my profile, I can assure you, you will not find what your looking for!

But make me a cuppa before you go!

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» Useless Information

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 15:19, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

Yes, well almost sex
Lads long weekend in Amsterdam. Watched a couple of shows, and started feeling horny. Two of us decided to pick the best pair, and have a foursome (30€ each per roxanne, so 60€ each total and they were fine birds).
Trouble is, amsterdam is also well known for something else that we'd both over endulged in, so neither of us; how shall we put this, could get our moneys worth. (get it up, but they were bloody good smokes!)
Later we both felt we had to prove that we can get it up whilst under the influence, and not a pair of batty boys, so spent the best euro ever cracking one off in some skany booth!
Also had our hotel door kicked in by some Irish mongs at 4.30 in the morning.
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 22:50, More)

» Useless Information

is the longest word typed with only the left hand; "lollipop" with your right.

Don't give none of this I only use my left/right hand bollocks! its TRUE!
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 15:22, More)

» I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

ill keep this shortish
I used to play county league football. In my last ever game we were short of a goalkeeper. Although I'm a defender, I'm handy between the sticks, so I volunteered.
Let's say I played superbly well, kept a clean sheet, and we won 1-0. Which it true BTW.
Midway through the second half during my cat like antics, I came flying out, threw myself in front of the approaching attacker, took the ball cleanly, but also took a foot, studs up to my groin. Not being one of these girlie types, I picked myself up and carried on.
After the game, going to get into the showers I discovered what damage had been done. 2 perfect tram line cuts down my winky! These weren't your normal little stud marks. They were proper split cuts. Showering stung. Antiseptic wipes bought tears to my eyes, but also tears of laughter for the rest of the team. The only thing that stopped the stinging and throbbing was about 6 pints. I also then had the bottle to not to hospital to get them looked at. 4 butterflies and a bit of sniggering later,I was patched up. For 2 weeks my sex life was more non existent than normal, and I still have the scars to prove this is no lie! :)
(Sat 9th Mar 2013, 19:32, More)

» Voyeurism

One very drunk night in kalamaki
I couldn't remember the face, only the shape; and it was large!
Getting busy on a sun bed on the each, when a round of applause and cheers erupted from a balcony on high! Looking up, there were 4 lads sitting there having an end of night drink.

To say it put me of my stroke was an understatement, as I was having difficulty concentrating anyway. So up I got, tucked him away, and mumbled something that can only have be translated by an deaf Inuit with a hair lip!

I was later seen climbing from balcony to balcony on the third floor of our hotel trying to get into our room cos I'd been locked out!
(Thu 11th Oct 2007, 19:06, More)
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