Profile for Freakish:
Not likely to post much as most of the day is spent in the hum-drummery of working life. But if you happen to spot a piss-poor effort on the messageboards, chances are that's mine.
First ever animation
Oh noes! I have lost all my early work! Damn you msn, damn you to hell!
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- a member for 20 years, 9 months and 8 days
- has posted 65 messages on the main board
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- has posted 9 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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Not likely to post much as most of the day is spent in the hum-drummery of working life. But if you happen to spot a piss-poor effort on the messageboards, chances are that's mine.
First ever animation
Oh noes! I have lost all my early work! Damn you msn, damn you to hell!
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» I was drunk when I bought this
After a recent boozing frenzy
I went about my normal life for a week or so. Got home from work one day to find one of those "Your Postman called today..." cards telling me there was a parcel they needed a signature for. Picked up package and took it home. Upon opening it, imagine my surprise when I discovered it contained a couple of DVDs filled with Eastern European lovlies (The filthy little minxes) and a second, smaller box. Slightly puzzled by this one (the DVDs weren't that much of a surprise to be honest), I opened it to find a latex, "real feel" device, modelled on some porn slattern's naughty bits, complete with a sachet of lube. It's see through too so you can see what's going on.
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 16:11, More)
After a recent boozing frenzy
I went about my normal life for a week or so. Got home from work one day to find one of those "Your Postman called today..." cards telling me there was a parcel they needed a signature for. Picked up package and took it home. Upon opening it, imagine my surprise when I discovered it contained a couple of DVDs filled with Eastern European lovlies (The filthy little minxes) and a second, smaller box. Slightly puzzled by this one (the DVDs weren't that much of a surprise to be honest), I opened it to find a latex, "real feel" device, modelled on some porn slattern's naughty bits, complete with a sachet of lube. It's see through too so you can see what's going on.
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 16:11, More)
» Best Comebacks
A mate of mine...
was well into his metal and as was his want had fairly long, slightly girly hair.
A girl who was friends with my sister was walking down the street one day and she shouted over "Hippie!" (highly original). Without missing a step he turned around and shouted back to my sister's slightly tubby friend, "Hippo!". Simple, elegant and left the silly fat moo with a look of stunned bewilderment...priceless.
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 15:00, More)
A mate of mine...
was well into his metal and as was his want had fairly long, slightly girly hair.
A girl who was friends with my sister was walking down the street one day and she shouted over "Hippie!" (highly original). Without missing a step he turned around and shouted back to my sister's slightly tubby friend, "Hippo!". Simple, elegant and left the silly fat moo with a look of stunned bewilderment...priceless.
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 15:00, More)
» When animals attack...
Obligatory not me but....post
My grandad had a cat that was well known in the family for being a bit of a twat, all cute one minute, chewing your hand to the bone the next.
This cat, as most do, had a favourite place to sleep which was on top of the washing basket, which was kept in the bathroom. One day, my grandad was having a bath and the cat was in its usual place, asleep on the basket a couple of feet away. When my grandad finished his bath and got out, he knocked the basket which in turn startled the cat. Now, being the twat that the cat was its first reaction was to lash out at the nearest thing within clawing range. My grandad was not very tall and...well you can guess what happened next. Cue my grandad hopping around the room screaming in pain whilst the cat swung from his meat and two.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 10:21, More)
Obligatory not me but....post
My grandad had a cat that was well known in the family for being a bit of a twat, all cute one minute, chewing your hand to the bone the next.
This cat, as most do, had a favourite place to sleep which was on top of the washing basket, which was kept in the bathroom. One day, my grandad was having a bath and the cat was in its usual place, asleep on the basket a couple of feet away. When my grandad finished his bath and got out, he knocked the basket which in turn startled the cat. Now, being the twat that the cat was its first reaction was to lash out at the nearest thing within clawing range. My grandad was not very tall and...well you can guess what happened next. Cue my grandad hopping around the room screaming in pain whilst the cat swung from his meat and two.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 10:21, More)
» Losing Your Virginity
Mine was a little...interesting to say the least
I was a late starter, night of my 20th birthday in fact. Had staggered home from Uni nightclub after yet another particularly unsucessful attempt at talking to women. Got home watching TV in bed and there's a knock on the door, it's my housemate and his girlfriend come to see what I was up to. He sits down on the comfy chair, she sits on end of bed. She complains of being cold, so like the perfect (drunken) gentleman that I am, offer to share the quilt with her. Mate goes for a piss and she's all over me like a rash. he comes back in the bedroom, she carries on. My mates response? "Happy Birthday, mate!"
Turns out she always wanted a threesome and this was the perfect opportunity. Result!!! Shame that the demon drink kicked in half way through and I lost the ability to perform quite spectacularly.
(Fri 4th Mar 2005, 10:07, More)
Mine was a little...interesting to say the least
I was a late starter, night of my 20th birthday in fact. Had staggered home from Uni nightclub after yet another particularly unsucessful attempt at talking to women. Got home watching TV in bed and there's a knock on the door, it's my housemate and his girlfriend come to see what I was up to. He sits down on the comfy chair, she sits on end of bed. She complains of being cold, so like the perfect (drunken) gentleman that I am, offer to share the quilt with her. Mate goes for a piss and she's all over me like a rash. he comes back in the bedroom, she carries on. My mates response? "Happy Birthday, mate!"
Turns out she always wanted a threesome and this was the perfect opportunity. Result!!! Shame that the demon drink kicked in half way through and I lost the ability to perform quite spectacularly.
(Fri 4th Mar 2005, 10:07, More)
» Pet Names
Had a cat called Midge...
It was small when I found it in a plastic bag by the side of the road (along with its highly original sister, Tabby), so it was Midge (as in Midget). Very quickly grew up to be a bloater of massive proportions with a tiny pin head that can shit for England. Midge became Squidge as the evil liquid stuff that came out of it caused it to make noises like an almost empty squeezy bottle of sauce.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 13:51, More)
Had a cat called Midge...
It was small when I found it in a plastic bag by the side of the road (along with its highly original sister, Tabby), so it was Midge (as in Midget). Very quickly grew up to be a bloater of massive proportions with a tiny pin head that can shit for England. Midge became Squidge as the evil liquid stuff that came out of it caused it to make noises like an almost empty squeezy bottle of sauce.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 13:51, More)