b3ta.com user britishbroccoli
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I am the british broccoli. See me woo and yay.

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Get it! Fnarrrr

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Best answers to questions:

» On the stage

Sound Effects
I nearly forgot this beauty. Our school just got a new sound system, which meant that all of the old sound effects needed to be reprogramed. Of course, the old sounds were from an olllld machine, so they sounded a bit weak and tired.

Cue opening night of our last play(s) which were both westerns involving a lot of gunplay. The first few times, an actor would fire his or her little plastic gun and a very unconvincing "BANG?" could be heard from the sound booth. We also had the sound of a train recorded for a much much later scene in which a girl is tied to a railroad track.

So, naturally, when one of the characters points her gun to the air and says her line (Git away from me with that talk!), her gun goes off with a resoundingly feeble, "CHOO CHOO!"
(Sun 4th Dec 2005, 3:59, More)

» On the stage

Our school does one spring musical every year. They're ususally classics of a certain era: 42nd Street, Anything Goes, etc. Last year was an exception. What did we do?


The play sounds interesting enough: two New Yorkers visit the magical town of Brigadoon while hunting in the highlands of Scotland. We were nearly excited about the play.

That was, until the cast list came out. For some of the dances, our directer casted 70 people. That's 70 people doing jazz diamonds and mock ballet on a tiny high school stage. And.. to add insult to injury... we were costumed in plaid horrors. The lead female was adorned in plain comprised of neon green, Barbie pink, and radioactive orange. With a matching green skirt. I was splendedly adorned in bright green and stop sign red with matching plaid so that I looked like Mrs. Claus. Remember, this is in the spring.

I'm just lucky I wasn't in the audience, looking at all that godaweful plaid crashing about on a tiny stage.

Tradition has it that, on the last night of the show, seniors pull pranks. For Brigadoon, we all came out in clans and one kilted man announced the family. McDougel, McFie, McClarren, etc etc until one senior, a girl playing a guy, shouts out the immortal name, "McNugget!" Oh, how the audience laughed.
(Sun 4th Dec 2005, 3:28, More)

» Weird Traditions

Eye of the Tiger
Every time I hear Eye of the Tiger.. on the radio, in the car, in the mall, whatever, I HAVE to prance around and pretend to punch things like I'm training for a big boxing match like that guy in that Rocky movie or whatever, even though I've not even seen it. I have a few friends who will join me. We were once all spread out by this restaurant and it came on the speakers. We all jumped up from our benches all over the place. It looked like a bag musical where everyone knows the moves. I kind of feel bad for the people just sitting there like, "WTF?"
(Mon 1st Aug 2005, 0:44, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

bathroom party
My friends and i had the best times in the girls bathrooms in movie theaters and places with lots of stalls. We would each go in a stall, not next to each other. We would grunt and gurgle, start sing-a-longs, or, the alltime best... Blow Bubbles. People are really bothered when their doing their business and a big bubble floats down to them. People always seem to finish quickly in the bathroom nowadays...
(Thu 1st Apr 2004, 22:58, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Ms. Korny
She has the voice of thousands of live kittens slowly being runover by an unmuffled John Deere tractor.

She teaches french and hardly anyone understands her english because her voice causes such pain.

On the letter she sent to her students over the summer, she said she loved ballroom dancing. I can't help but laugh, as she is about 5'1 and walks in a sort of limping shuffle.

She says A.K instead of O.K...

She somehow got the cell phone number of a friend of mine because the girl called once to check a tutoring session. Two days later, the girl got a call from Kornrich while the girl was at the movies. Korny just called to chat.

She wears matching jumpsuits that are made out of that fake velvet. She reserved her red jumpsuit set for special days.

On the day of a fire drill on a warm fall afternoon, she pulled a giant safari hat out of her bag. We all stared. She explained. "A.K. I have a skiiin conditionnn. I'm like.. A.K.. like. . . Michael Jackson. A.K.. It's a conditionnn, not a disease. *rasp*"

You'd have to hear it to believe it, but atleast, with modern technology, you can see it:
(Mon 14th Nov 2005, 6:18, More)
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