b3ta.com user zozamaroo
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I'm so very sorry

I think if the internet and teletext could breed, this would be the offspring :)
(Sat 1st Aug 2009, 18:18, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Food sex

Bread has crust - not really sexy or interesting or offensive, it's just necessary at the edges to form a barrier between the soft bready stuff and the outside world. Crust has particular texture - dry, crumbly, flaky, crusty. This is not a texture you want to associate with sex. Crusty is not sexy.

In my school apart from (sometimes) hot and cold running water and flushing (sometimes) toilets (apart from the one we bred maggots in), we also had the luxury of a toaster in the common room. We loved that toaster and I think for one year I lived on nothing but toast toast toast. yum.
I was doing a round of toast for everybody and the new girl in class asked for me to cut the crust off hers. Didn't think that was strange, but I wondered why she went a little green when she said 'crust'
This happened several times and so I asked her if she had some kind of phobia? She proceeded to tell me the story about a girl in her previous school. This girl was upset because her boyfriend had out of the blue refused to sleep with her and dumped her. It was her first time and they were getting naked in her bedroom when suddenly he got up and left.
Of course all her friends were supportive, saying 'what a bastard', 'you deserve better', 'theres nothing wrong with you, he's got the problem' etc etc when she said...

which once heard cannot be unheard...

"Coz all girls are crusty down there, aren't they? Maybe he was scared off because I'm really crusty"
(Fri 7th Aug 2009, 20:26, More)

» Breasts

Two local men walking past
One of them with a completely deadpan voice pointed to my house and said...

"that's the house where Granny got her tits caught in the mangle"
(Wed 12th May 2010, 16:13, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

When I was about 9
I somehow thought 'pedestrian' was pronounced 'Pedestranian' and meant people from the country Pedestrania, which I had some vague idea was near Hungary.
I think of it every time I read a 'pedestrians this way' sign by the road :) silly me
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 15:15, More)

» Caught!

Me, aged 4
my hair was getting in my eyes so I went behind the sofa and cut a big handful of hair off really close to my scalp with mum's big fabric-cutting scissors. Thought no-one would notice.
(Sun 6th Jun 2010, 22:17, More)

» Pet Names

tempting fate i suppose
my cat is called Abbey (as in Abbey Road, the one with the zebra crossing) because she has black and white stripes along her left side
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 21:31, More)
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