» Old People Talk Bollocks

My Grandmother's Lost the Plot!
My grandmother is loosing the plot slightly. The other day she bought an ark welder and began to weld both of our great danes together. Thanks to this we've now got hoards of tourists clambering at the door to get photo shots of our siamese great danes. Yesterday she went to Safeways and set alight to the cheese aisle and put a bat, which she had set on fire with white spirit, up an old lady's skirt. We're becoming slightly worried, even more so after today when she enlisted the help of an electrician to remove a wart from our shire horse's penis! Then to top it all off she now thinks she's bilbo baggins and has chopped her feet off to make herself the right height AND cut the tail off our horse and has harnessed the hair to her feet, well stumps anyway.
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 15:13, More)