b3ta.com user Arctix
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Canadian Frost Mage.

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» Your Weirdest Teacher

Madame Lewis
Pronounced "LOO-WEE" was a terrible elementary school French teacher, but this isn't really about her, it's what we'd do to her.

The game is called, "Race-Car" and the object is to drive the teacher insane. For fun.

Picture this,

The class room is quiet...then all of a sudden one kid starts whispering,


And more kids start whispering,


And every kid starts, and the collection of kids get louder and louder,


Until Madame Lewis turns around and yells,


And us kids yell,


(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 18:58, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Being in a theatre program you’d readily expect a few oddballs, and here’s my favorite one. Tom introduced himself to me on the first day by telling me he’d been to a concert once. The next day we had history class and he asked me if he could sit in the empty seat next to me – jokingly I said, “Sure, as long as you don’t look at me.” Well he didn’t. He kept his fool head down for about 20 minutes until I noticed and told him I was joking. But Tom took the cake the day he had to present his assignment on Drug Addiction in Psychology. He announced that he had written a one man play, and would perform it for the class. He assumed the roles of Judy Garland and John Belushi, who happened to both be in Hell for being drug addicts, and they were having a conversation. Apparently since Judy had died of an overdose, she was doomed to push a giant rock through hell for all eternity and, “Boy was she tired!” This politically incorrect skit went on for maybe half an hour and the best part was that Tom was completely serious about the whole thing, completely oblivious to everyone’s look of disbelief, and very proud of himself when he was finished performing.

Despite being completely baffling and slightly terrifying, I like the kid.
(Sat 20th Jan 2007, 4:54, More)

» Petty Sabotage

My Brother and Weird Al
Weird Al and his parodies of songs can be fun, but only in small doses. My brother took the liberty of downloading many parody songs by Weird Al, and proceeded to listen to them over, and over, and over.
So, being the annoying sister that I am, I downloaded all the actual songs instead of the parodies, changed their names like so:
“Jamie’s got a Gun” - “Elmo’s got a Gun”
“Beat it” - “Eat it”
“Lola” - “Yoda”

And hid his Weird Al songs under Dan Fogelburg.
(Tue 10th May 2005, 14:09, More)

» Advice from Old People

My Nan
My Nan told me that it was better to sleep without underwear on because it, "needs to breath."

As a seven-year-old, I didn't like the idea of it 'breathing' so I didn't take her advice. But I grew up knowing that my Nan sleeps commando.
(Sun 22nd Jun 2008, 21:07, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Last year I was in a computer lab at school, and I had just finished writing a paper and had printed it out. I reached for my little stapler and when I had it in my hands, I realized it was broken, so I decided to fix it myself, because I needed to staple my papers together for class.

The bit where you put the staples in was separated from the actual stapler shell, and wouldn't fit back in, so I used both my thumbs to push it back while the rest of my hands was pushing forward - and then I stapled myself. Each thumb was positioned over where the two spikes of the staple come out, so I had caught one thumb on either side of one staple. It had gone right through my thumbs.

So after a moment of whimpering and complete bewilderment, I dropped the stapler on the floor, and yanked the staple out with my teeth (my hands being fucking stapled, I couldn't just pull it out). As soon as the staple was free from my flesh, ridiculous amounts of blood shot out of my hands - and so I wiped it all on my pants.

After that, I washed my hands and called my mom collect to tell her what happened. She was proud.
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 14:45, More)
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