» Your first cigarette

WH Smith, Aberdeen St Nicholas Centre, aged 15
T'was before a gig. Being the super-cool indie God that I was, a packet of fags would really set off my oversized-jeans-and-ill-fitting-Oxfam-suit-jacket look.

"Cigarettes, please" says I.

"What brand?" says boredom stricken sales girl.

Shit. What brand indeed?

"Those ones, the blue ones"

"Richmond?"

"Aye".

Yes! Soon a packet of the finest mass-produced nicotine cones would be mine.

"How many?" This girl asks a hell of a lot of questions for my liking.

"Five" says I, with absolutely hee-haw idea of how many cigarettes you get in a packet.

"They don't sell them in fives". The old woman behind me with her copy of Good Housekeeping is looking impatient.

"Umm, err. Smallest packet please".

Done! Surly now I can hand over my hard earned £2 whatever to her and I can go.

"Are you sure you're sixteen?"

"Aye"

"Ok".

Done. She was not impressed five minutes later when I realised i'd need something to light it. But such is life, and I merrily trotted off into the night to see the band that was on at the Lemon Tree. So I get to the gig, pay in the money, the usual.

"Beer please"

"What type?"

"Umm......"
(Thu 20th Mar 2008, 19:38, More)