b3ta.com user albator
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» Guilty Pleasures

Sending people in the wrong direction
I use to it all the time when working between London Bridge and Tower Bridge, and tourist were asking directions to London Bridge but actually meant Tower Bridge.

People who cannot read maps at bus stop, I always send them to the wrong bus stop so they end up at the other side of town.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 16:44, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

I've had 2 weird jobs
I was paid to screen calls and take appointements for a call girl.

I did voice over work for porn movies in France.
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 12:48, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

She likes a tipple
or maybe she has a drink problem, who knows, but we once had to pick her up for A&E after she went on a night out, this was about 5 months after I met my boyfriend. I had to accompany her to the loo as she was not too stable on her feet, she peed in front of me. Even my best friend of 25+ years has never done that.

Her daughter (my future sister in law) is kind of in the same mould. They went out together last Friday, the cab back was a bit more expensive than the one they got at the beginning of the night (about 2 quid), they did not like it. I do not know what hapened exactly but they are up in court in February, one of them for assaulting a copper and the other one for damaging a handset.
And my boyfriend wonders why I never go and visit them.
(Fri 9th Sep 2005, 14:16, More)

» When I met the parents

It was Christmas eve
and the first time my boyfriend spent the holidays with us. He was not nervous about my parents has he'd met them before but worried about Xmas dinner.
About 4 o'clock in the morning, he wakes me up, he had shat in his sleep. Cue me changing the sheets and putting the soiled ones in the washing machine. My mum being a mum woke up as I was heading down the stairs, thinking that another boyfriend had been sick. Cue half the household being awake, my mum frantic's search for immodium.
Needless to say that by the time we had lunch everybody knew what had happened, and my nan spent the entire meal telling him what he should or should not eat so it didn't happen again.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 16:40, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

German and Arts
The German teacher:
The first one had to make a public apology to the class after slapping a pupil. (in my experience German teachers are all weird)

The arts teacher:
He had a little utility room adjascent to his classroom where supplies were stocked, also in the room were a stereo to inspire and his stock of booze. Anyway, his room interconnected with the English teacher's who was quite a pretty woman. Whenever she had a free period or her class had their heads down the door would open and they would go in the utility room for a coffee, quite often the music would come on, and quite often we would here them moan. I'm still not sure if the English teacher is aware that he also had it off with some of the supply teachers when she was ill.
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 12:24, More)
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