» Evidence that you're getting old

I feel it in my fingers
and everything else, I know I'm getting old because I'm doing more clubbing and shagging and illegalities than ever before but I'm still not happy.

And it takes me hours to cum.
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 14:45, More)

» Shit Stories

Poo Poo Padoo
When in University Halls of residence my mate Rob came up and drank himself blind on vodka. I left him at 4 in the morning being sick in my sink. Waking up at 9 I found him gone and headed over to my friends corridor to go to town. There on the floor ourside my friends corridor was the largest pile of slushy runny man crap it's ever been my misfortune to wintess....my initial thought was 'Jesus I hope that wasn't Rob'. Everybody was very cross about this faecal intrusion so I kept my concerns to myself.

Later that evening I questioned Robert regarding said turd which he vehemently denied...but soon he began to giggle and confessed 'yes boss that was me, I couldn't find the bog so I crapped on the floor wiped my arse on my sock and phoned a taxi'.

The strange thing is I felt enormously proud of him. Eventually the mound was removed leaving only a brown stain and a vaguely vomitous stench, somebody left a note saying. 'For God's sake don't stand here some wanker shit on the floor, we hate whoever did it but love whoever cleaned it up'.

Rob I love you for this.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 12:44, More)