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» * PFFT *

Plane Fart
When I was 16 we had just been on a holiday in Turkey and we about to leave our hotel and go to the airport when i needed to fart. Along with other families we all jumped onto the mini bus destined for the airport. I really really needed to fart but had to hold it in cause there we're so many people on the bus. Got on the flight 3 hours later still holding it in.

Suffering from sever stomach cramps I went to the toilet on the plane at least 5 times but no matter how hard I tried I couldnt squeeze it out.

I suffered in agony for another 3 hours until we arrived home where i went into my room, elbows and knees on the floor, arse raised in the air and let out the loudest, most satisfying fart of my life.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 14:38, More)

» Apparently I'm a sex offender

School Perv
We used to have music class, and this paticular week we were learning how to play the drums. We were all sitting in a circle around the drum kit watching this girl I used to date (it ended badly) play the drums surprisingly well. Due to my postion in the circle, and her legs being apart due to the drum playing, I had full view up her skirt. Being a good boy, i didnt look, but it didnt stop her from telling the class wanker that i was "looking up her skirt". He then proceeded to give me a beating infront of everyone for "being a perv".
(Sun 20th Aug 2006, 15:47, More)