» IT Support

At Uni (14 years ago now)
I worked on the IT helpdesk of an evening. One night, there was a panicked Sports Science student that can running up to the desk.

"Help me, please help me! I've typed my dissertation in all upper-case! Is there anything that you can do?"

Now the Carnegie fuckers who used to swan around the Uni like they owned the place were not at the top of the list for me to help so the answer was -- "No, sorry. You're fucked."

The poor lad was nearly in tears. The girl that I was working on the desk with that night chimed in at this point with this - "If you print it out, I'll type it all in again for you. £20 per hour? Should take 5 hours." . The idiot went for it. Even better was this. "If you just give me the thing on disk, I'll print it out for you."

Marvellous. We shared the money for the grand total of ctrl - A, Format, Change Case, Save.
(Sat 26th Sep 2009, 22:36, More)

» Useless Information

You can tell where a phone number is by looking
at the letters on teh keypad. For instance, Southport (01704) if you leave the 01 out, the S is on the 7 key and the o is O. The 4 is the fact that Southport was the 4th largest town when the system was devised.

Manchester (0161) M is on the 6 key

Try it.
(Mon 21st Mar 2005, 20:36, More)

» I'm an expert

SQL Server 2005 and Oracle 10g
God I need a life. Also a really quite good bass guitarinist.
(Mon 27th Jun 2005, 11:59, More)

» Jobsworths

Oi, That aint a monkey .....
You probably needed id because you look your mental age.

Racist twunt.
(Sun 15th May 2005, 22:02, More)

» Useless Information

Motorway and A road numbering.
Draw a circle. That is the M25. The main motorways (M1,2,3,4,5,6) all go around the M25 in a clockwise manner from 12 o'clock.

Got it?

Now the science bit. You can tell where an A road starts by looking at it's number. For instance, the A580 starts to the right of the M5 and to the left of the M6. The A13 is clockwise from the M1.

Try it, it works.
(Mon 21st Mar 2005, 20:38, More)