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Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
There hasn't been a stampeding death in your area in more than a century, but your air horn and steer costume will change all that.
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Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
There hasn't been a stampeding death in your area in more than a century, but your air horn and steer costume will change all that.
www.theonion.com
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» Pure Ignorance
evening all
while working at a phone help desk I got asked for the number of the local police, as the lady phoning in had seen a documentary on TV and wanted to complain about the blatant police brutality shown. After much descriptiveness from said woman, I finally guessed correctly that for the past 5 years or so she had thought that there was a documentary series shown on ITV a couple of times a week called 'The Bill'. The squawk of astonishment when I told her it was a soap opera like 'Coronation street' is still ringing in my ears.
(Mon 10th Jan 2005, 16:39, More)
evening all
while working at a phone help desk I got asked for the number of the local police, as the lady phoning in had seen a documentary on TV and wanted to complain about the blatant police brutality shown. After much descriptiveness from said woman, I finally guessed correctly that for the past 5 years or so she had thought that there was a documentary series shown on ITV a couple of times a week called 'The Bill'. The squawk of astonishment when I told her it was a soap opera like 'Coronation street' is still ringing in my ears.
(Mon 10th Jan 2005, 16:39, More)
» Your Weirdest Teacher
bring back memories
ah the memories of secondary education in Cumbria - a chemistry teacher who was a local Liberal MP candidate but taught us the joys of making mustard gas in an experiment that went awry when the air extraction system vented the gas out of the top of the school block on a completely calm sunny day - said gas sank over the building and everyone had to close their windows to avoid going to hospital. He also loved to blow up plastic containers with a mix of potassium and water...
a head teacher who whilst teaching history heard a siren go off outside which triggered flashbacks of her wartime memories for an hour...
a maths teacher for one year who couldn't control anything or anyone, shouted wildly; he got punched out by a quiet lad who had nothing to lose (as the lads mum had married and american and he was leaving the country soon), got regulary locked in the supply cupboard in the class, and ran off to the head teacher at every other opportunity. I heard that each summer he'd spend voluntary time in the local psychiatric hospital and his crapness as a teacher being put down to an allergy to chalk dust.
Thank god I got to go to university where the tutors only problem was alcoholism
(Wed 9th Nov 2005, 20:16, More)
bring back memories
ah the memories of secondary education in Cumbria - a chemistry teacher who was a local Liberal MP candidate but taught us the joys of making mustard gas in an experiment that went awry when the air extraction system vented the gas out of the top of the school block on a completely calm sunny day - said gas sank over the building and everyone had to close their windows to avoid going to hospital. He also loved to blow up plastic containers with a mix of potassium and water...
a head teacher who whilst teaching history heard a siren go off outside which triggered flashbacks of her wartime memories for an hour...
a maths teacher for one year who couldn't control anything or anyone, shouted wildly; he got punched out by a quiet lad who had nothing to lose (as the lads mum had married and american and he was leaving the country soon), got regulary locked in the supply cupboard in the class, and ran off to the head teacher at every other opportunity. I heard that each summer he'd spend voluntary time in the local psychiatric hospital and his crapness as a teacher being put down to an allergy to chalk dust.
Thank god I got to go to university where the tutors only problem was alcoholism
(Wed 9th Nov 2005, 20:16, More)
» Pure Ignorance
ikea world
At school a geography teacher told us once of a girl in his class who thought the earth was flat (she was probably about 15 years old)When he pointed out all the round planets her reply was 'yeah, but look, in the book they're all flat too.'
I think I got a C in geography but I won't be falling off the edge of the world just yet.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 18:46, More)
ikea world
At school a geography teacher told us once of a girl in his class who thought the earth was flat (she was probably about 15 years old)When he pointed out all the round planets her reply was 'yeah, but look, in the book they're all flat too.'
I think I got a C in geography but I won't be falling off the edge of the world just yet.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 18:46, More)
» Pure Ignorance
snorting coke
I once easily convinced a work colleague not to open his can of coke on the lift as the atmospheric pressure difference between floors would cause it to explode. Said colleague gingerly hands me coke can unopened and leaves lift before doors close.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 16:27, More)
snorting coke
I once easily convinced a work colleague not to open his can of coke on the lift as the atmospheric pressure difference between floors would cause it to explode. Said colleague gingerly hands me coke can unopened and leaves lift before doors close.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 16:27, More)