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» Accidentally Erotic

One summer afternoon...
...when I was a lad of 14, I was at my great grandparents for a family reunion. Being more than a little hopped up on candy and generic sodas, my cousins and I were running about upstairs. Being a 14 year old boy in a bedroom with a 14 and 16 year old girl i could see only one course of action: show off by picking them up and carrying them around.
I grabbed Sara (the younger of the two) and picked her up. It was all going so well, then disaster struck! Some of the younger children burst into the room, a small girl tickled Sara, she squirmed, I lost my grip, reflex took over. I grabbed at her as she slid through my arms, landing on her knees just in time for my hands to firmly grasp her bosom. Heaven only knows how long i kept my grip, completely stupefied by the feeling of warm squishiness in my adolescent palms.

That's the only thing i remember from that summer, how horrible of me. She is only a second cousin, right?
I'll get my coat....
(Sun 5th Feb 2006, 6:40, More)

» I'm an expert

Well, I'm...
a certified natural health counselor. Two years of natural medicine college when I was 12. The least useful certification ever. My mom thought it would be cool to have a son she could use to make other moms feel bad. Unfortunatley if your friends mom happens to be a nurse and she finds you're a certified doctor of naturopathy you aren't allowed to come over anymore.
(Sun 26th Jun 2005, 6:43, More)