b3ta.com user xaecg
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» My computer gave away my secrets

ah, so many...
well, starting at the beginning, everything was quiet innocent... I have my own pc in my room, so obviously, it's very easy for me to have a sly wank. That is, until my mum comes in to use my pc for something and then asks me 'why is the mouse all greasy?'. Well, that's not too bad... easily talked out of.
The next time i got caught was after kazaa had just been released. I then found the wonders that were p2p and set about downloading various videos. As they downloaded, i watched them, just to check that they were to my liking for later on when i put them to good use. My fatal error was checking them in the middle of the day... Of course i thought this would be safe, as my pc is in my room... But no, i thought i was ALL alone until i heard my dad's voice from over my shoulder saying 'my, that's a big dildo...' *oh dear god!!*
Another time, my friend was over, and was feeling a been horny, and as he isnt a computer person and doesnt use the internet, i introduced him to internet porn, how to find, etc, and said that he was welcome to find stuff on my pc and have a wank if he wanted. The only problem was that my grand dad decided to turn up just as my friend shouted 'OH MY GOD DAVE, THERE'S SO MUCH PORN ON HERE!!' hm...

The only other time i can remember is when i was having a wank late at night (about 1am so that i was sure that my parents were asleep). I was perfectly happy, and just as i went past the 'point of no return' my mum walked right in and got a full view of me finishing into a handful of toilet paper... I felt like crying...
(Sat 11th Feb 2006, 23:59, More)

» Claims to Fame

Dave Grohl punched me in the face.
Carling music festival 2002, i got right down the front for foo fighters' headlining set. once it was over, dave jumped off the stage to come n say 'allo chappies' to all the fans near the front. i grabbed his sleeve as he walked by, and asked him to punch me in the face. He did so. what a great guy!

If that's not enough, then the same festival, 2004, i hit rasmus' bassist in the eye with a ball of mud, and i hit 50-cent with a bottle of piss. Go me!
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 18:48, More)