b3ta.com user Sir Clitherington Smythe
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I'm not so bad really!

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» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

Christmas eve..
I do seasonal work, cooking on Charter Boats from the west coast of Scotland, but during the winter months I go back to my home town and live from what I make over the summer.
Usually fine, but that summer, I'd made very little due to an injury I sustained through work. Anyway.

Had just broken up with the ex some days prior, and was basically walled up in my flat drinking very cheap wine with the last of my money when I got a call.
It turned out to be the best call I didn't 'not answer'.
It was the parents of my best freind , the same freind I've been getting into mischief with since School days.

These are the kind of people who ask for nothing, but give a lot. They grow their own food and make their own wine and are just the nicest family in the universe.
During my after School years, I was a bit 'lost' as my family home had been sold and I didn't want to go to Scotland with the rest of the family, I wanted to stay and study where my freinds were. These people would put me up, no questions asked and for as long as I needed.
Anyway, they rang me up on christmas eve and asked me why I wasn't at the folk's for the big day.
Obviously there is only one reason, and that was that I was skint and feeling sorry for myself. (Okay, two reasons.)

They whent above and beyond , and as soon as the phone was down they had rang the train company to see if trains were running on Christmas eve. They then went and booked these expensive tickets and drove to my flat with them! I was a bit of a mess, and wept true tears of gratitude. In the packet with the tickets was also £20 for some food on the train , as they knew I probably hadn't consumed anything but wine in days.

This whole long winded tale is just my way of saying thank you. If not for them, I don't know what I would have done as I was feeling a bit of a failure and definitely too old to be sponging off my freind's parents. I said this to them, and they told me to shut up.
They are fantastic people, and they saved my soul that Christmas. Thank you so much, if you read this (unlikely) and know that I will do the same for someone else if I ever get the chance.

No apologies for length, or lack of funnies. This is my tale of Christmas spirit actually existing for once.
(Sun 5th Oct 2008, 21:18, More)

» Food sabotage

Tobermory, Isle of Mull.
Small Island town in Scotland. Not really a lot to do..
Basically, a Seagull was drugged with Vodka, Painted or dyed bright Green and Pink then released to go about it's business.
Locals named it the Balamory Seagull as Tobermory is where the bastarding thing was filmed. Tourists on the other hand..'Is it a parrot??' Etc etc...It lived what I can only assume is a ripe old age for a seagul.
So there.
(Wed 24th Sep 2008, 19:18, More)

» My sex misconceptions

Sorta relevant..
My sister told me Tampons were for nosebleeds.
Being a nosebleed sufferer, I was then asked to explain myself to bemused teacher who had seen me playing with a (clean) tampon I had taken from my pocket...
Older sisters can be awfull.
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 16:09, More)

» Money-saving tips

Vegetable oil.
Don't know if this has been posted yet, probably has.
Don't buy Diesel, it costs lots. Instead, find places that use a lot of cooking oil, and ask if you can have it.
Then proceed to filter it, add 10% thinner (I use petrol) and presto!
I run a 2.8 Turbo Diesel Iveco Daily on the stuff, and it's flipping great.
Slightly less economical, but hey, it's free.
Test it mixed in with your Diesel first, in small doses.

Also.. Technically, you're supposed to have paperwork to show where it's all going, and that it's not just being dumped.
(Tue 15th Nov 2011, 3:39, More)