b3ta.com user Mork of Ork AKA Mike Oxarrd
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» When animals attack...

Gibraltar
I was attacked by a pair of apes in Gibraltar, they had just finished humping when I tried to feed one of them a piece of carrot. They saw this as an invitation to try and chew my arms off. To make it worse my brother just ran off and hid!
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 13:52, More)

» It was a great holiday, but...

Killer Apes
I was enjoying a lovely holiday on the Costa Del Sol last year and went to Gibraltar as a birthday treat (cheap ciggies). It was great until I tried to give a bit of carrot to an ape on the top of the rock. The ape had just been shagging and it and it's lover proceeded to try and eat both of my arms. To top it off my bloody brother just ran off and hid like a little girl!!
(Fri 22nd Apr 2005, 13:38, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

Awooga!
I was on holiday with my parents in Crete and we met a producer for hit series Gladiators who said we could come along to the NEC in Birmingham and sit in the audience in the VIP area right at the bottom.

I was on TV with my little bro for about 2.5 seconds and we even got to meet all the gladiators afterwards. I got a foam hand and got all the female gladiators to sign it which I still have today.

It was in the Fash days just after Shadow had been sacked for doing drugs.
(Sat 13th Nov 2004, 13:43, More)