b3ta.com user silkysean
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Profile for silkysean:
Profile Info:

"I spent all this money on an Alienware PC to look at pictures of a bloke opening up his arsehole!"

About me....

I have no drawing talent, but I lurk in the shadows watching people that have.

Recent front page messages:


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Best answers to questions:

» Terrible Parenting

I was a mistake....
Just 3 years ago (I'm 22 now) I overheard my dearest mother talking to my youngest cousin about my birth, whilst we were on holiday in Majorca....

"Well, me and your Uncle used to do a lot of drugs in the 80's, and when Sean was conceived, we were off our heads on magic mushroom and LSD"

So, after hearing this revelation, I quickly piped up "WHAT?! YOU DID DRUGS! Wait, so was I like..... an accident??"

"Well... yes, sort of.... It was bonfire night and we went to Skegness for a few days, and you know, one thing led to an another. But it's ok, I always wanted to have a child"

"Er, so what about Dad?" I asked

"Well, he likes you now"

ARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 8:23, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

I'm a lifeguard
I can't swim.
(Fri 10th Aug 2007, 12:37, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

Body of Christ or Chips
I once had a strange craving for those round crackers they give out in mass (you know the ones, they symbolise the body of christ? you have them with wine?) Well anyway, as a long converted atheist there was no way I was going to church to get them, so I managed to find a supply shop on the internet. Long story short, I bought a box of 50. Ate them during my break at work. Had them with ketchup..... Jesus tasted good.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 18:43, More)

» Impulse buys

Lara Croft
During my first year of university and having that wonderful first installment of government granted loan, I decided to fulfil one of my biggest childhood fantasies...... owning a life sized statue of Lara Croft! 600 later and she was in my room, towering over my bed in my small student halls. It was great. However, I eventually learned this was not the best way to get laid, having scared every girl that ever entered my room, so she went back on ebay a few months later. Still have the photo of my flatmate banging Lara from behind as we took her apart though, good times.

[Edit] If you insist....

Photobucket
(Thu 21st May 2009, 13:43, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Sorry Gran....
Anybody remember when Nick Hancock used to present Room 101 on BBC2? Well, picture the scene...... There I was, at the young age of 10, sitting quietly next to my 12 year old cousin at the crematorium.

My Gran's coffin was placed delicately on the conveyor belt and red velvet curtains automatically wrapped around it to obscure it from view. Just as the priest finished his service, you could hear the conveyor starting to move...

Cue me and my cousin... "pfft Room 101, Room 101, Room 101" as the theme tune went. I still have memories of my older cousin turning around to us, mascara running down her face, and the most evil stare possible. Oops.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 14:01, More)
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