b3ta.com user BlurOfSerenity
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» Stuff You've Overheard

another one from the dorms...
In our dorm rooms at Uni, we had one bathroom betweem every pair of rooms, with doors from each going into it. So one night I was hanging out in the room next to mine, and I head back to my own by way of the bathroom. Through the closed bathroom door I hear my roommate and her bloke talking...

her: "Cuz it'll fuckin' hurt, that's why."
him: "No it won't. Trust me, I've done it before."
her: "Yeah, so you keep saying, but what makes you think she liked it."
him: "Oh, she loved it -- "
her: "Oh, bullshit."
him: "Come on. Most girls like it once they try it."
her: "No way, only guys like it."
him: "I bet Gill [that's my name] likes it..."

At this point I walked in whistling as nonchalantly as I could and they both shut up.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 19:57, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

I lost me virginity...
...to an electric toothbrush.
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 14:18, More)

» Shoddy Presents

A fucking Bible.
From my aunt. Actually, she sent me a Bible two years in a row. Her subtle way of saying she doesn't approve of her niece being a homosexual atheist.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 4:07, More)

» Scars with history

Never again will I underestimate my cat's ninja powers.
When I was young and foolish, I once leapt headlong onto our living room couch, not noticing that the cat was curled up peacefully in the middle of it. Lucky for him, he noticed me careening towards him, and took appropriate action: he leapt away with acrobatic ease, and somehow, with ninja-like powers of awesomeness, managed to give me a rather deep cut *behind my ear* in the process. How he did this, especially considering that he has no front claws, is still a mystery to me.
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 23:50, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Don't Pee In The Pool
I was told that public swimming pools put a special chemical in the water which immediately turns the water around you purple if you pee in it. I believed it for the longest time.
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 0:33, More)
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