b3ta.com user Spunk Murphy
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Profile for Spunk Murphy:
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Ummm.... have some pictures.

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» Secret Santa

Quite proud of what I did last year
Had to buy a cheap gift for the new guy in the office. He hadn't even been there a week so nobody knew a damn thing about the guy - except that he was a smoker. So, being the creative type that I am, I bought him a pack of 20 Marlboro Lights and threw together some custom cut-out-and-keep warning labels.

Just so happens that I kept the warning labels on my hard drive, so here you all go - print this out and give it to your smoking co-worker. It's cheap as chips and you'll look all clever-pants-smarty.

Sorry for the size, by the way
(Fri 15th Dec 2006, 14:37, More)

» Childhood Ambitions

I wanted to be.....
(Thu 29th Mar 2007, 15:54, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

According to my CV, I'm proficient in

Not a fucking clue what half that means. Last interview, I was asked what work I had done in SMIL. So, I bit the bullet and spewed forth a magnificent stream of bullshit the likes of which I had never produced before, and have yet to reproduce.

It was like I went into a Zen mode and some higher being took control of my vocal chords, as I confidently explained the many varied uses of the highly-vaunted 'Superceding Macro Interface Language', rounding off with a few subtle expressions of surprise that the interviewer had never heard of it himself. After it all died down and I recovered control over myself, I sat there and stared the interviewer in the eye, as if to say "Go ahead. Call my bluff. I dare you."

Turned out he hadn't any more idea what SMIL was than I had. Got the job two days later.
(Thu 6th Jul 2006, 16:36, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Blimey, yeah, Anneka Rice
I remember watching Treasure Hunt as a kid. The image of her panting, sweating, gasping that she was 'nearly there' illicited a similar response from me.
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 16:31, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

What!?! Whuh.... Of course not!
What sort of depraved animal do you take me for?

Who have you been talking to, Gladys?! What photos?

Ooooooooh, those photos.

Now I can explain, Gladys.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 15:47, More)
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