» Sexism

Games
In our genitallia face hit challenge I've found that she normally gets poked in the eye and I get a broken nose.

And that is the difference between men and women!
(Mon 4th Jan 2010, 14:10, More)

» Darwin Awards

Well...
I decided on a holiday in the Northern Territories of Australia and when I landed they were all having a very nice bloke competition.

So I introduced myself everyone agreed that I was indeed a very nice bloke so they gave me an award...

Which was nice.
(Mon 16th Feb 2009, 15:32, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

While at sunny, sunny Leeds 2000 Festival...
...me and a couple of mates were sat around our camp site poking stuff with sticks, waiting for Daphne and Celest to finish, (I wanted to see it but my mate said it would be shit. After I heard about the bottles of piss that rained down upon them into their third song mate got an elbow to the face!)

Anyway the long and short of it is you hear alot of people talking at festivals but this one voice shone through...
"HAVE YOU EVER SHOUTED YOU OWN NAME WHILE YOUR HAVING A WANK?!"
Fell over, giggled till it hurt!

Oh I also overheard someone shouting "BOLLOCKS!!"......well it seemed rude not to reply.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 10:13, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

Reefer Maddness
Me again...sorry.
Once heard a mate's girlfriend state (quite matter of factly,) that it would be very funny if Jim Morrison actually shopped at Morrisons.

Made me laugh! (Well snort and collapse in my dribbling stoner way!)
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 10:35, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Advertising agencies...
A recent Charlie Brooker TV show sort of dealt with one of my main gripes with this but it seems even he, the Baron of Bile, seems to have had a blind spot on this.

It started with car and perfume ad's in the 90's but that was okay as I was too you to care, I remember the backgound noise of some standup ranting but it's too fuzzy to remember.

Simply put my problem is with adverts that, if you removed reference to the product in question, would leave you completely oblivious as to what the product does. A sloppy explination I know but as they say the bear is with me.

I try and go through the meetings in my head that lead to adverts like the recent Smirnoff ad campaign where a bunch of rich young Tarquin, Jarvis, Apple and Geniveve socialites have a magical costume part in the woods, (a la Guess Jeans).

If you remove the one scene with the bottle in it and the logo at the end then it could be for fucking Anusol for all I know! The people talking aren't telling me how smooth Smirnoff is or what interesting drinks I can make with it because...well...because it's just vodka; but they just tell me how mad it was to have this party in the woods and, if you'll allow me to read between the lines, how fucking great it is to be richer and have more richer friends than me!

Admiral Insurance! Why am I more likely to buy it from a cunt in a hat? You never see his legs because he's not wearing pants, the talking parrot is in his head and he's in at 2 o'clock for electro shock therapy because Bonaparte won't stay out of Prussia!

This is a rant now and it wasn't supposed to be, but these adverts seem to be getting more popular, (anyone who has seen the dancing penguins will know it is a direct result of webuyanycar), and on this basis I ask what is the companies attraction to these talentless bastards!?

'Because it sells comes the answer', so it then falls at your feet, why do we find this dross appealing
(Wed 21st Oct 2009, 13:54, More)