b3ta.com user flynbo
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» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Well as it's simply the worst QOTW, like, ever *draws back the mists of time*.

3rd year of Uni, my housemate fails to remember her laptop at home and said flatmate's neighbours nanny brings it with her a few weeks later on a trip up to the great polis that was my university town.

She comes round for supper with us all. We get drunk. We go dancing. We kiss. Flynbo makes the inspired decision to insist on her place (a charming hostelry run by a now far from innocent old lady).

We get naked. She goes for it like a Duracell bunny (being a Canadian in England is not conducive to getting laid, clearly) and asks, no begs, for one in the bum. Being a gentleman, Flynbo willingly obliges. *Brown-wings: CHECK*

Coitus over, he falls in to a deep and dreamless post-brown wings sleep. Only to be woken a few minutes later by repeated knocking at the hotel room door. "That's odd" says Flynbo, and goes to open it. Said nanny is in the hallway, naked as the day she was born. "Very odd" says Flynbo and returns to the land of nod. Only to be awoken by moaning coming from bathroom. "Oh holy mother of gypsy Jesus, she's prolapsed EVERYWHERE" says Flynbo to himself.

It was then that Mr. Flynbo emitted the now immortal line: "do you need an ambulance?". The response to the negative was more than enough permission to high tail it the hell outta there, dodging piles of doodoo in both the room and the hallway of said charming hostelry.

As Clay Davis of THE WIRE fame would say: "That's some shameful sheeeeit."
(Fri 13th Mar 2009, 10:39, More)

» Sexual fetishes

Coming second
nuff said
(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 13:28, More)

» Puns

Was up on the deck of the USS Enterprise
.. and asked that Kirk fella for a hand with something.

He said: "Don't tell me your troubles, i've got Tribbles of my own."
(Fri 6th Mar 2009, 16:51, More)

» The Credit Crunch

Fuck the Credit Crunch
I'm more concerned by the acute Pussy Crunch.
(Fri 23rd Jan 2009, 16:01, More)

» Procrastination

Capacity surplus
The by-word for saying "i've got fuck all on".
(Fri 14th Nov 2008, 16:34, More)
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