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CODING MONKEY
Male, Age 29
Occupation: software development
Special moves: twirling jumping ninja monkey kick.

check out my BLOG...

Current Terror Alert level:
Terror Alert Level

Please go here and vote Vinnie Jones as the worlds most annoying celebrity.






















Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Job Interviews

Shortest interview ever.

This girl applied for a software engineering role we had at the MOD. Her CV read like a Computer Science professors, so I invited her along, I was pretty sure that she was exaggerating but decided to call her bluff on the off-chance she might not be lying her a** off and could be the exact person we wanted.

ME: 'I notice you've listed almost every programming language known to man on your CV - but there's no indication of your skill level there - so how competent would you say you are at them, what are your top 5 skills?'

HER: 'Erm... actually I can't really program. It's the lecturers fault, they don't teach us properly'

ME: [stunned silence]... you realise this is a programming role for flight simulator development, don't you? Why did you apply?

HER: to find out more about the role... and because my boyfriend lives in China and this place is near the airport.

Lets see: applied to the MOD (Official secrets act and all that) with no technical skills for a job that requires advanced programming skills because you want to have easy airport access to your boyfriend IN CHINA (not exactly on our 'friendly' list at the time - or even now).

Oh how we wept with laugher.
(Tue 25th Jan 2005, 13:04, More)

» My Worst Date

I once got off with this rather fit 18 y.o. in a kebab imporium.
Everyone was rather impressed and let out a loud cheer.

The net day we went for a drink and she was the dullest, least interesting human being on the planet, ie:

ME: so, what kind of music do you like
HER: dunno, anything really.
ME: so, er... what do you think about X then
HER: nothing really, dunno.

etc.

Neadless to say we cut the date short and I went out and got ratted with my friends instead.

Only thing is, she had the cheek to say to a mutal friend that I was 'boring when sober'

To which I replied:

'Well... at least I'm intersting half the time!'

Bu-bum tish!
(Fri 22nd Oct 2004, 10:01, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

You know you're getting old when...
...you have a pension.
(Mon 1st Nov 2004, 13:06, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

I used to work on a 'concept evalutator' flight sim for a bunch of crazy psychologists
One day, they asked me to put some pictures in some new displays they were wrking on in the head down display....

R2D2

...and Odin (the norse god of war and Knowledge)

Still... boggles... my... mind... paid... to ....????!!!! What?
(Thu 30th Sep 2004, 21:12, More)