» Advice from Old People

Boobs
I once mentioned to my Gran that I thought I was putting on weight and she told me 'Don't worry. As long as your belly doesn't stick out more than your boobs, you're ok'. Very sound advice, I thought.
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 17:15, More)

» Insults

When I was about four
I called my mum a catalogue.

You... you... CATALOGUE!

That's quite cutting for a four year old.
(Tue 9th Oct 2007, 20:24, More)

» Misunderstood

Misheard
I was standing outside the office where I used to work having a fag with a colleague when she sighed and said 'I can't wait to get fisted...'. I said 'PARDON?!' to which she replied 'I said, I can't wait to get festive'. It was near Christmas and she was looking forward to that, not having someone's entire hand up her orifice.
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 14:07, More)

» Weird Traditions

Handbag
When we were children, whenever Mum sang 'Rock a bye baby' to my brother and me, we would shout 'Handbag! Handbag!' as loudly as possible.
(Thu 28th Jul 2005, 12:38, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

Odd
I don't know why but, whenever I hear an Adam and the Ants song, I smell sprouts.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 16:00, More)