» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Having a wank at work.
I nearly crashed the bus.
(Fri 13th Mar 2009, 13:40, More)

» Accidental innuendo

One that springs to mind.
Years ago I used to be a kitchen porter. As I was ambling into the kitchen replacing the clean stuff one of the chefs was having a discussion with the matrodee about the bar. I had to run off laughing when he asked "How big are your kegs?".

Another time the head chef was trying to dish out a bollocking to the chefs for the state they left the place last night. It started with "Guess what I came into this morning" There were 3 replies simultaneously:
"A sock?"
"A butthole?"
"A tramps hair?"
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 13:27, More)

» Tales of the Unexplained

My mate reckoned his room was haunted.
Apparently everytime he had a wank he could hear a clap sound after it. We all told him this was bollocks but i'll never forget him angrily shouting "nah it's real, you don't believe me? COME ROUND AND HAVE A WANK IN THERE THEN"
(Tue 8th Jul 2008, 17:50, More)

» Abusing freebies

I always
Give envelopes with oxfam's logo on them a quick squeeze to see if they contain a free pen before chucking them out.
(Sun 11th Nov 2007, 23:17, More)

» Street Life

I was once wandering through town with a bag of chips and a car drove past and the passenger shouted "nice chips mate" through a megaphone.

(Mon 13th Jul 2015, 10:57, More)