» Family Holidays

Toll booths
Drove to Freiburg in Germany a couple of years back for a family camping holiday. On arriving at a French motorway toll booth we queued up to pay and drive on. As we sat there in our gas guzzling Ford Galaxy with roof box (making us a 2.3m high motorized brick) we spotted a toll booth with no queue. Never liking to hang around I was just about to leave our queue and head for the idle toll booth.

It was then that a German plated Audi with roof mounted bicycles confidentally pulled up at said booth. It was this point we realised why the booth queue was clear, it had a very low height restriction, just high enough for a regular heighted car. The bikes hit the cross beam and were dragged off the back of the car on to the road. Ooops.

It didn't end there, the wifey in the car proceeded to get out and recover the wrecks while hubby paid the toll. The barrier lifted and hubby drove on and wifey followed wheeling what should could behind him. Except that the barrier came down and smacked her squarely on the head causing her to fall to the ground. Instead of anyone in our queue going to help her we all just sat there grimacing.

I bet that holiday was going well!
(Tue 7th Aug 2007, 22:40, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Comment on the soup
Wifey was out dining with friends, one who had vegetable soup. It was one of those replies where the mouth was seconds ahead of her brain. When asked by the waiter was she happy with her soup she replied, "The pea-ness taste was a little strong".
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 23:54, More)

» How nerdy are you?

Telling the TV repairman how to do his job
Back in the days when people rented TVs my parents called in the repairman to fix it. At the age of 11 I was dabbling with very basic electronics after being given a Tandy set for Christmas. The repairman having the back off the TV was a great opportunity to see some real electronic gubbins. I made him give a commentary as he fathomed out what was wrong and eventually what to fix. After announcing that he needed a 330k resistor (or whatever) he dug through his collection of components and presented me with a resistor. I instantly told him it was not what he said it was and he was drastically out with his selection. Being told he was wrong by a spotty 11 year old clearly pissed him off and that was the end of the demostration for me. That didn't stop my smugness.
(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 22:55, More)

» Family Holidays

Flashing at the mother in law
This year, camping again, this time in Cornwall with the family (wife, kids, brother-in-law, and parents-in-law). Been down at the beach on the only day at the end of July that gave us any decent weather. Still got the swimming shorts on, can't be bothered to go up to the loos to change and don't won't to change in the tent and dump a load of sand on my sleeping bag. Everyone else was supposedly around the front of the parent-in-laws caravan so I decided to go around the back, drop me trolleys, root around with the towel and put me kacks back on. Just dropped the shorts when the mother-in-law walks around the caravan the otherway. No doubts about what she saw.
(Tue 7th Aug 2007, 22:47, More)

» Accidental innuendo

I'm meant the beer, not me!
Out after work in the pub with my fellow workers. Decided to try out the new fangled Stella Artois derivative beer Peter Artois. Sniffed it, took a sip and proceeded to describe the bouquet. "I've got wood" I proudly announced. I was informed that I should keep my twisted perversions to myself.
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 0:00, More)