b3ta.com user WOGAN'S WIG FIXER
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» Neighbours

I've had some right wanker students next door
I need to get up for work in the morning.
They need to drink and play tunes until 5am.

I leave for work when they go to bed leaving Venetian Snares/Aphex Twin playing full volume on repeat, every speaker pointed in their direction.
I don't sleep, neither do they.
Looping one really bad song works too.
Aural warfare. Hoo-ra.
(Thu 1st Oct 2009, 23:24, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

Fight for your right to party
By the beastie boys.
Smashed a car into a lamp post.
Thought we were dead.
We weren't.

so we got high.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 13:37, More)

» The Great Outdoors

Dossers creek
About a dozen of us around the age of 18 set up camp in some brush near gransha lake in Norn Ironed.
Now tents and such don't generally go up too well when you're on a strict diet of cheap sparkly white wine (lambrino), cider and massive drugs but we managed to get everything set up reasonably well considering our current state even though the entire time most of us were wondering which of the others had shat in their pants. An absolutely abominable smell lingered around camp waster and I even thought I had pooed myself when I kept smelling it while I was on my own.
Turns out we'd all pitched tent right next to the most insect-ridden dead dog anyone has ever seen.
Not being the most active bunch of stoners, we decided rather than take everything down and move we'd pour some flammables on and give poochie a trip to doggy-valhalla.
Turns out barbecued labrador is not a good smell when drunk.

No apologies for length.
(Wed 4th Apr 2012, 16:22, More)

» Churches, temples and holy places

Avoided the places at all costs
To the point where on Ash Wednesday as a teenager when my Mum would send us off to the evening mass we skived round the back of the shops and used fag ash and spit to create badly daubed crosses on our foreheads.

Rejoice, rejoice, I'm going to Hull.
(Mon 5th Sep 2011, 11:44, More)

» IT Support

I work in IT but...
My mother in law is the worst offender I've met.

One particular case was there new dell PC, which I chose for them and even got them 3 years on-site service (as if that mattered) had frozen.
Now I knew it was my sister-in-law keeping about 90 films seeding in azureus but it was too late to shut that down by then. It was well and truly frozen.
So as you do, I told her to reset the machine.
"how do you do that?"
"Press the big power button on the front of the PC", said I.
"Ok its off now", says she.
"Ok, now switch it back on"
"Ok, I have"...."Its still frozen".

"Well you obviously haven't switched it off. You need to hold down the big power button on the front of the PC. You will hear the fan stop. The machine will be completely off. No lights or noise at all".

"Ok, its off"
"Turn it back on"
"I have, its still frozen"

"Are you just turning the monitor off?"


Oh, for fucks sake.
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 16:45, More)
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