» My Worst Vomit

vomit/wanking disasters
I flippin love drinking me.

As a nipper, on a wanky work course in York for a few days, I met an older bloke called Bone (twas his nickmonicker) who is a whizz at singing, playing guitar, socialising and imbibing.

We head for some beers and get trashed in several bars while Bone plays medallies of songs for free beers; lovely. Then on to a nightclub called Christ knows what in a former Synagogue.

I had had the odd puff on a funny cigarette previous so had my brave boots on. Up the top floor of this gaff, Bone rolls a few smokos involving some oily stuff and a bit of grass. Well stone the crows. I have a dance in a corner and feel pretty good, bit weird, but good weird. Then its back to a cellar bar for a lock in with the owner, who we had met at some earlier point in the evening.

It all goes tits up. A few more puffs and I've got the dreaded fear, whitey and the stomach is registering compliants. Best go to the bog and hide. Got to the bog and puked it all nicely into the water closet, then felt a bit warm so stripped off and lay on the nice cool tiles.

Bone rather kindly woke me at 4-5am lying naked in my own piss and vom (don't remember when that happened) and got me together. My head was spinning like billy oh. We got back to the Uni halls we were staying in and into bed.

When I opened my eyes everything was wrong in the world, closed though, lovely. In fact quite horny lovely. Had the best wank of my entire life and woke up the adjoining room (judging by the banging) with my ecstatic moans.

Spent the morning in a poxy seminar with puke on my shoes and not a friend in the world.

No apologies for length but request forgiveness for earlier blasphemy.

PS Never let good sense stop you from having a fly toke on some one elses gear. Let foolhardyness be your watchword and shining light.
(Tue 24th Aug 2004, 4:27, More)