» The worst sex I ever had

Ow.
A few months ago I started talking to a bit-well known guy on the net, who was slightly pushy for more than just chatting.
So even though I was happy with my mister, I decided it wouldn't be any harm to keep this guy my bit on the side, and to be honest he didn't seem picky.
Anyway, after a few weeks of talking we decide to meet up. I had his full assurance we'd just go for a walk or something, obviously it didn't work out like that. After stopping in his car in a secluded spot I think it was pretty obvious what he wanted, but this being the first meeting, I decided some oral love would suffice.
The next day I had the worst sore throat, it was horrible, but I passed it off as a coincidence.
A few weeks later we decided to meet up again, but me being a laydee there were certain circumstances that meant the full hanky-panky wasn't on the menu, so once again he didn't mind a bit more oral delight. As he shot his load, it was so thick I nearly choked. As he did his weird cumming sounds I was coughing my guts up with sludge.
Next day, same sore throat, but worse.

I really should get that checked out.

Legnth? Preferably more.
(Sat 16th Jun 2007, 0:17, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Mine.
My family are all a bit weird to be honest.

My dad's probably the worst. When he's doing DIY you can hear him singing, but he changes the words in songs to make them rude. Which would be quite funny, but he's in the room by himself.
He also loves to dance to music in the middle of shops when i'm standing next to him.

His sister, my auntie, is also a bit mad.
She lives on her own with a few cats, is a hardcore vegan and doesn't leave the house.
She's probably in her late forties / early fifties now and has never been married, and has a few strange boyfriends. She is also weirdly health concious, and each christmas buys my mum some kind of hammer that she can smash the car window with incase she's ever in an accident.

My mum also has her moments. She'll watch repeats of Coronation Street, as she can't remember watching them the first time. It's also great shaking her in her sleep and asking her what she's doing, as she usually replies with "i'm just hanging the washing on the line..." or "i'm just making some chips..."
(Tue 10th Jul 2007, 1:06, More)

» Pet Stories

Dogs first Christmas
The day before my dogs first Christmas, she decided to take a little wander downstairs and into the kitchen.
She then went onto jump on top of the cooker and drag the whole turkey down onto the floor.
We still have no idea how she did that, seeing as how at the time she was even smaller than our rabbit.
The next morning we came down to find wrapping paper all over the living room, and he sitting in the middle of it eating the chewsticks she'd managed to find wrapped under the tree.
(Sun 10th Jun 2007, 14:28, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Salt
Before leaving a resteraunt or cafe unscrewing the tops of salt and pepper pots, but still leave the top on.
Next person to use them is just gonna have a plate full of salt.....
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 16:12, More)

» Useless Information

Lazy
I have a book called The Book Of Useless Information, it's full of random facts, so this could take forever, but i'm a lazy craphead so I'll make it short.

The guy who invented the lightbulb was afraid of the dark.
In summer, walnuts get a tan.
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 21:33, More)