» Churches, temples and holy places

St Paul's, child with tourettes, predictable consequences...
One of the staff on a school trip to London. The High point was a visit to the top of St Paul's. I was the rearguard as we went up. With me a child with coprolalic tourettes who was reasonable at keeping this to the sort of sub vocal mutter you expect from a drunken tramp.

Today was the day the he discovered that he is seriously afraid of heights. The first part of the ascent involves a gently climb up a wide gently sloping staircase. This turns into some narrow corridors before popping out in the whispering gallery at the bottom of the dome. You then have to shuffle around a thin walkway with the dome above and a substantial drop below.

So we get to the point where the corridors meet the dome and the poor kid is unwilling to come out as he has spotted a bit of void. To demonstrate how safe it is I flop onto the substantial railings designed to stop the suicidal from getting closer to their maker than necessary.

As I look down I just have time to get a bird's eye view of the dress rehearsal of Handel's Messiah spread out below me, before the child leaps forward, bounces off the rail, screaming obscenities at the top of his voice and springs back through the door out of sight. Everything stutters to a halt as every eye in St Paul's turns to the sight of me spread-eagled alone on the suicide fencing.

Apparently this a funny story, although I have never seen the humour in it personally.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2011, 10:27, More)