b3ta.com user KinkyNinja
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I lurk more than I probably should...

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» Shame

I don't live here...
Very very drunken night out, drank about 25 bottles of cheap beer and a few vodka martini's (Was going through a James Bond fetish at the time). Left the crap local bar we were in and went into town to carry on drinking. Lost friends between pubs as I was a drunken mess, so decided to go for a piss around the back of some nearby terraced houses before I tried to find a bus/taxi anything to get home, fell asleep for about 30 mins in a pile of black binbags...

So good so far, nothing too shameful, however this is the part it gets bad.
- I lived in a flat above a very similar looking terraced block and thought that one of the houses was mine. (Although some bastard had nicked the fire escape up to my front door.) Scaled a 15 foot wall, crawled 30 foot along it, jumped onto the roof of the house via a sloped extension, edged along a further 15 foot on the roof, lowered myself onto the kitchen window ledge, put the top window through with my elbow and climbed in- went into the lounge of the place and went to sleep on the sofa so I didn't disturb my missus (not that she was in this random house)... Trouble is that I sleep in the nude...
Next thing I know I'm being woke up by two police women (!?!?) and carted off to the cells for the rest of the night- I was in such a drunken state I hadn't got a clue what was happening, so started asking the police women if they were the strippers, and if they spat or swallowed...
I'd blacked out during this whole event and I couldn't actually remember what had happened when I woke in the morning, until I asked the duty sargent why I was in the cell...

The word is not enough to describe it.

Luckily the woman who lived in the flat and the police saw the funny side- the police kept calling me spiderman, and asked if I was a professional cat burgler, and the flat owner didn't press charges- Although I paid for the glazier to go round and repair the window.

Apologies for the length (although the police women didn't make any comment about that)

NOTE: 1st post wooyay
(Sun 27th Nov 2005, 19:08, More)

» Shame

we done yet?
Just wondering...
(Thu 1st Dec 2005, 20:15, More)