» Public Sex

Sex pride
Ok, although I'm proud to say I've ruined ample family walks by being discoverd mid-sausage-dip, the time that really makes me cringe is as follows:
I'd just finished a rare mammoth "Oh-fuck-look-at the-time" sex session with my girlfriend when I realised I was meant to be at work fixing some blokes computer (i.e. plugging the monitor in/removing virus encrusted mature pornography).
Off I trot gaylee to work with the soggy latex man-sap dam tied up in my empty pocket.
Slowly the hour i was being paid for elapsed, and i was free to go home. Stuffing my handsome earnings (50 fucking quidlettes!!) into my trousers I ran home and strode proudly up to the kitchen table where my dear family were about to munch down sunday lunch.
Triumph in my eyes I pulled out the contents of my pocket in a tight fist:
"It only took an hour!?!" I gleed.
By the time i noticed the latex wrapped packet of dying sperm dangling between my fingers the damage had already been done.
"err..good job" My dad stutters, eyes now fixing on the kitchen table.
I'm sweating just thinking about it
(Fri 24th Apr 2009, 12:10, More)

» I just don't get it

Cows
If you can lead them up stairs, but not down, how come all the cows in the world are not perched precariously at the top of hills.......?
(Mon 4th Apr 2005, 23:45, More)