b3ta.com user Aardvark
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» Road Trip

The Mongol Rally
For me, it's a shame that this is being asked now instead of in a month or so, as next week Chenobble and I are setting off on the Mongol Rally - a 10,000 mile drive, across inhospitably mountainous and deserty terrain, in a Nissan Micra. With a b3ta sticker on the back, of course.

We predict that it will take us a month and will either be the best of mates or never speak again, by the time it's over.

You can follow our progress (and donate money to an extremely worthy cause) at our blog: www.teamherdingcats.blogspot.com - we intend to update as often as we can. Though the lack of internet cafes in the wildest desert parts of Mongolia means that updates will probably be sporadic.

Sorry this is me spamming our blog, instead of a tale of a past road trip - we'll have plenty of tales to tell when we get back though. Ask again later.
(Sat 16th Jul 2011, 17:09, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

Only slightly dodgy
Autocomplete on Google Image Search allowed a few of us to find out that our friend had an "outdoor sex" fetish. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

No-one else gets to use my computer, so I'm not getting caught by autocomplete. No-one will ever know what I search for... and this is probably for the best.
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 11:16, More)

» Birthdays

Just remembered another one, when I was 6 I was due to have a big party, all my friends from my crappy little village school were coming, and my mum had prepared lots of jelly, sausage rolls, a cake, and everything else a 6 year-old could want for a party. About two hours before it was due to start, however, my best friend's mum called to say that my mate couldn't come, he had chicken pox. The phone went again, another mum saying her kid had the pox. The phone rang constantly for an hour or so, and it seemed pretty much every kid in the village had the pox and so couldn't come. The whole event looked like it was going to be a washout. Then my mum noticed the little red spots appearing on me...

She called everyone back and got them to send their kids anyway, since we were all infected it wouldn't make much difference. So my first ever themed party was a chicken pox party.

When everyone had gone at the end of the day, it was discovered that my older sister now had chicken pox, despite avoiding the party and all the infected kids. Result.
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 12:58, More)

» Birthdays

My worst
My worst birthday was my 20th - I was at uni and went out drinking with friends and my girlfriend. My girlfriend dumped me, my friends accidentally (they said) left me to fall asleep slumped against a lamp post in the city centre, and I had to walk home as I had no money.

My best birthday was the following year, my 21st, when we filled the implausibly large student house we had with drunken party goers. The game of crab football (football played on all fours) that my sister organised upstairs was great fun, till we came back downstairs to find one of the chandeliers had fallen down. Yes, chandeliers. They should never have let students live in a house like that.
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 11:19, More)

» Fire!

It burns, it burns!
A semi-entertaining practice I was introduced to as a poor and bored student was setting fire to the fluff on your socks. As long as your socks have a reasonable covering of fluff, you can watch a mini Armageddon-style expanding ring of fire engulf your whole foot. It looks like it should hurt but it just warms your foot nicely. Try this at home, kids!

However, expanding this idea to include my quite fluffy dressing gown wasn't so much fun. My entire body was suddenly covered in sizeable flames, which probably would have burned out quite quickly and harmlessly, but were more than enough to shit me up good and proper. There's not much dignity in rolling around on the floor in just a dressing gown, gibbering in panic, while your housemates look on and laugh.
(Sun 6th Nov 2005, 3:08, More)
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