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what do you call a man with no shins?

a banana walks into a bar, the barman says, "sorry we dont serve food"

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» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Not me but...
I have, or rather had (as I finished school yesterday) a physics teacher who during uni holidays worked in a pulp mill in his native canada. anyway, among many stories he told us my favourite is this:
Often employees would be drunk, the day was split into two 12 hour shifts for every job and so people would be very bored and just having to operate machinery or similar would not stop someone from getting on the drink. So one day this forklift driver is moving some stuff from a pier into a warehouse and he is drunk which is the major reason why he ends up driving off the pier into the drink. he isn't hurt, and walks off wet to tell the manager what he has done. the manager is his usual calm self, but organises for some divers and a crane to fish out the forklift. the next day the crane is there and the divers go down under orders to hook the crane onto the forklift. they come back up after only being down for 30 seconds or so, asking which forlift they should hook it onto, as there are three to choose from.
(Sat 29th Sep 2007, 13:01, More)

» Jobsworths

Icecream Vans
I always turn the music on when we've run out, its protocol, my dad told me.
(Thu 12th May 2005, 10:44, More)

» Stupid Tourists

i sign all guest books
with the name ZORDON (yes in capitals) saying im from mars and then find some blank pages and draw willies (you knows it makes sense)

thats right, im a funny guy
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 3:56, More)

» Mix Tapes

not me, but some friends..
made a mix tape that was completely filled with the song "the final countdown" over and over again. Just so jokes about the penultimate final countdown and the final final countdown could be made.
Was it worth it? I hear you ask.
Yes. Basically.
(Sat 9th Feb 2008, 17:40, More)

» I just don't get it

Michael Parkinson
what ever you say Mike.
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 12:38, More)
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