b3ta.com user buggeringfuckering
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» Workplace Boredom

DIY Evenings
Once upon a many moon ago I used to work in a DIY Store (Name is the same as a popular German produced British car)(OK It's Focus).

Evening shifts were long and dull, 5pm till 8pm the store was virtually empty - nothing that the till monkeys couldn't sort out. The sorts of things that used to take up our "valuable" time.

Using the matress storage area way up on the racking as a trampoline, and rodeo surfing.

Wheelchair racing through the aisles (luckily CCTV didn't work, we'd get bollocked if caught!)

Pallet truck racing (similar vein to above but without the guilt) - once knocked over a LOT of wood paint doing this, cleaning that up occupied a bit of my time!

Christmas evening shifts were even better, we'd get deliveries of different types of childs toy to sell. In our case we tested them to make sure they worked. This entailed of me, the supervisor, and two colleagues out the back of the warehouse area chucking a light up LED frisbee around. Doing the same in the car park but getting it stuck fully illuminated on the roof. Every evening shift for the next week was met with stifled laughter as the manager asked what the hell went on.

RC Car racing around the seasonal display area. No more to say really.

After a while, I was "promoted" to information desk monkey, where all sorts of new timewasters could be played. There were two phones and a computer on the desk - the phones had different extensions and were on opposite sides of the desk. Going to lunch one of the girls had to cover for me, so much hilarity ensued when I dialled one of the extensions from the managers office (phone labelled "Nut House"), when she got over to that phone, hang up and dialled the other phone. I managed that around 8 or 9 times before she clocked!

Asking the shop floor workers to find legendary items was a good timewaster too. Skirting board ladder, glass hammer etc etc.

Being in a DIY store we had good access to a range of tools and DIY memorabilia. Off I trot to get a length of chain, a till roll, and two hooks, and proceeded to create a "till roll toilet style dispenser" which I believe was still in place when tesco took over

A lot of other timewasting was had in that place, too much to list here.

Sorry if it wasn't funny enough, and for length etc, I haven't posted here much!
(Wed 14th Jan 2009, 17:38, More)

» Scary Neighbours

scary neighbours
old woman who used to live next to me accused me of smashing her patio doors with a football. (one of the 99p ones). But I was upstairs when I heard the smash!!!

Also, the geezer over the roundabout, he seems a nice enough chap, except that fateful day when my paper plane landed on the path outside his house. he threatened to put me under the bus by my ankles!

woo. second post!
(Fri 2nd Sep 2005, 7:34, More)

» Local Nutters

nutter? more like a wanker!
this bloke who must live around this area, does the same routine for 10 years and counting... he goes out in his 2CV in the morning, drops it off 100 yards down the road, leaves the engine running for 20 minutes, he goes back out to the car, gets in, reverses back outside his house, turns the engine off, and leaves it for the next day...

it cant be something normal (every day for 10 years?!?!)

(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 20:26, More)