b3ta.com user spike spiegel
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» Airport Stories

goose livers
Being the ripe old age of 12 gives your parents every right to exploit you. Coming back from Hong Kong to NZ, I got tracked down by an adorable yet satantically evil sniffer dog, the customs officer woman comes on over to see what her dog had busted, and when she looked in my bag she found dried goose livers, why my mother wanted to bring those with her remains a mystery to us all. Since my mother spoke no english I was left with the explaining, she starts examining the package and asks me what they are, and me being 12 and confused told her they were sweets (and to all those that have had the pleasure of being in the same room as dried goose livers, they DO NOT smell like sweets) she sniffs them and recoils in digust, flashing me a look of pity then lets me off. Thank god she didn't ask me to eat one in front of her, or I would have puked Fear Factor style. To anyone who knows how strict New Zealand customs are, I am still surprised to this day that they let goose livers slip through the borders...hah! my finger to the man!

Apologies for length and lack of paragraphing...blimey
(Tue 7th Mar 2006, 23:50, More)

» Dentists

Sexual references
Have been a dental assistant for a while and have worked with many dentists, but there was one that I worked with who was particularily lovely.

He was Taiwanese, great person, but his english was always a little, how could you say...blunt.

Once we had a bible college professor book in for a root canal, so we asked if he wanted us to put a movie on for him since it would be a two hour procedure.

Our choices for titles werent that expansive, and he told us to choose a comedy for him, so Along Came Polly was put on.

Dentist then goes on to say to him "Not to worry, it only has sexual references listed on its rating"

Cue uncomfortable awkward silence......thanks Dr Chen
(Mon 6th Nov 2006, 7:32, More)

» Fancy Dress

Arrrrr Matie!
Our christmas work do had a pirate theme, which was all good and jolly, although no one told us what the activities for the day were going to be until be got to the hotel where the party was......it was a 'treasure hunt' through the CBD....cue half a dozen drunken pirates stumbling through the Auckland CBD harrassing people, bliss
(Sun 15th Jan 2006, 5:18, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Does a funny name count?
I had a chemistry teacher whose husbands name is Phil McCracken...nuff said
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 5:02, More)

» Essential Items

a dead body, always have it in my bag in case a good dumping spot for it swings my way, but to no-avail....starting to give me a crook shoulder too..bugger!
(Sat 29th Oct 2005, 3:32, More)
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