» School Sports Day

Satan in a trackie
I was a larger-framed child, but I always enjoyed sports (it's my glands, you see).

Oddly, I was actually quite looking forward to the inter-school cross country. So, come the day, I was well miffed to find that I'd forgotten to pack my shorts. Mr Hard-on, the PE teacher, threw a bobbler on the basis that I was a lardy shirker and forced me to do the circuit in my pale blue Y fronts.

I thought I'd had the last laugh by putting my legs through the arms of my t-shirt and tucking the hem in to my pants like a teenage nappy.

All went well until....approaching the finish line, naked boy-breasts heaving perkily, my shirt came untucked and plummeted around my ankles. Consequently I aquaplaned in the oozing mud around the finish line, which forced my grundies to kind of roll down slightly, exposing my widescreen boottocks to the rest of the runners. And the five schools that had come to watch the run.

I'm just glad it wasn't a bike race...
(Fri 31st Mar 2006, 14:08, More)