b3ta.com user chimpo2k
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» Stupid Dares

Bad timing
When I was younger we fell out with one of our mates. He became a bit of a prick so we decided to cut ties with him.

Unfortunately for him he left a pair of kickers at our house (this was 10 years ago). So my mates dared me to take a dump in them an leave them on his doorstep on fire. Harsh I know, but we were nippers.

So I did the dirty, and ran. For some reason there were loads of cars in the drive but I didn't think too much about it. We found out in school the next day that his mum had died and he would be having some time off. All the cars must have been for the funeral.

I still feel shitty about it to this day. He left them at my house so there was no denying who did it.
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 13:17, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

Mine prolly is the best story ever. im sure of this. anyhoo... i was playing shinobi on my master system, aged 10 or something, and i was slamming all the buttons being a weird agressive nipper. up comes level select.

i found a cheat by accident. old skool.

also sent it in to a magazine and won a fiver.
the greatest day of my life. natch
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 14:20, More)

» Insults

best insult to a woman
dont flatter yourself love

they REALLY hate that
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 14:49, More)

» Food sabotage

Never annoy a barman
Firstly- big sis if you read this.. sorry!

So I used to work in a Firkin in High Wycombe. Shithole town, even shitter pub.

One day some suits came in (massive knotted ties, cnts basically) and were lording it over everyone, being quite rude to yours truly.

Seeing I was annoyed when serving them, the guy next to me said, don't worry I'll get the Guinness and gave me a wink.

After pouring the Guiness he then dropped the pint to waist height so they couldnt see it (and thought it was settling).

He then got old his old fella and wiped it several times round the rim of the glass, before finishing the drink and serving it with a cheeky smile.

The rest of the evening wasn't so bad after that!
(Fri 19th Sep 2008, 12:42, More)

» My most gullible moment

exta middle name
had to post to this- my big sis may be reading!

when i was about 16 my dad told me that i had an 'extra' middle name- Izzio. My dad's family are Italian/Welsh, and so despite my surname being Thomas he convinced me it was true. Even offered to show me my birth certificate but I stupidly declined. My ma who is the only beacon of truth in the house even backed it up

Cue months of my mates piss-taking calling me Izzio Bizzio, Inchio etc.

This lasted for a while... about 8 months. Until my sister broke the news "what you actually believed that you tool"

durp. cue months of even more piss-taking
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 9:54, More)
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