b3ta.com user Milkmelikeacow
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» Urban Legends

room service
Friend of a friend - as ever - felt rather horny while staying in a hotel on business. After failing to get pr0n on the telly, he decided to give the old phone lines a call.

"Hello Sir, how can I help you," said the sexy voice.

"You can start by taking off your panties. I'm hot, horny and ready to blow," came the reply. "What do you think about that?"

"Not a lot Sir," came the reply. "You might do better if you dial 9 for an outside line..."

Sorry if already done.

Enjoy the length.
(Tue 10th Jan 2006, 17:51, More)

» Weird Traditions

Car Stereo
Thou shalt always be on a volume level that is even.
For an odd number shall cause you to crash.
Volume 10 and 12 is good. 9, 11 or 13 are right out.
(Fri 29th Jul 2005, 13:52, More)

» Pure Ignorance

oooh... can't forget the lovely famous Donna Air now, can we?
Donna on interviewing The Corrs: "So how did you all meet then?"
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 16:18, More)

» Pure Ignorance

don't let women look after the cash...
Been in a mortgage meeting for two hours, having various options explained to us, what we could afford, what repayments would be needed etc.
- admittedly, very boring.
At the end, the broker says, "Did you understand all that?"
"Yes," says the missus.

before adding, " ...what's interest?"

(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 16:54, More)

» Stupid Tourists

...was me. When at colege, we stayed just outside Rome in a hotel, with an Italian geezer who every morning would pour tea if you asked for coffee, and vice versa. All week he never said a word, despite attempts to speak English and Italian to him. Every morning, the wrong drink still poured.
On the last day, as we were leaving, he walked past the group and said: "See you later me old muckers. Have a good trip home." He was a cockney.
I wish I'd realised at the time, and not after arriving home, that he said that to us as he walked past wearing my rather expensive leather jacket.
Muddy Funster.
(Tue 12th Jul 2005, 10:46, More)
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