b3ta.com user amy crackpipe
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» And that's the thanks I got

tibetan pulsing
My friends wife and mother of his two teenege children was sufferng from depression and started trying new age remedies, yoga , meditation, hugging trees etc. A dreadlocked hippy showed up one day who charged my mate 100 quid to do Tibetan Pulsing on his missus, he paid the hippy welcomed him into his home and left them alone to do the treatment which consisted of the said hippy sticking his fingers up the said missus's cunt and " pulsing" whatever the fuck that was. Anyway after a few weeks of my friend paying for this hippy to stick his fingers up his wifes muff, the wife ran off to Tibet with the hippy and left my mate to bring up two teenage kids. Moral of the the story, never let a hippy stick his fingers up your wifes cunt, even if if does put a smile on her face.
(Mon 28th May 2007, 3:02, More)

» Work Experience

work experience
I have done amazing voluntary things in my home village eg, boatbuilding, building a school, and building the community center What do you think they call me "Dennis the Boatbuilder" or "Dennis the Schoolbuilder". Honestly, you suck one fucking cock...
(Mon 14th May 2007, 16:08, More)

» Gyms

Do ashtanga yoga, the breathing and sychronized movement will tone your body more than going to a gym. If you are a fatty, then its your digestion thats fucked and all the treadmills in the world wont help the blubber. You need colonic irrigation, just google mucoid plaque to see whats clogging you up. You eat fruit and veggies for 4 days then its the broth of vegatables( not vegatable broth) just the piss water you get from boiling veggies..for another four days. All the while you shove the tiny hosepipe of an enema bag up you arse twice a day whilst drinking benonite clay and psylium husks, after 10 days you will look and feel ten years younger and shit about 20ft of hard rubber mucoid plaque out of your arse...sorry about the length
(Fri 10th Jul 2009, 4:43, More)

» Personal Ads

internet dating
I live in asia where you can get a shag for a bag of crisps anyway so internet dating isnt really necessary out here. The blokes I know who indulge in internet dating usually end up with horrible fat diseased slags. My boss arranges to meet them online then sends me to check them out first. Like I said...generally pigs.
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 17:17, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

scullery maid
When I got fired from being a scullery maid in victorian London because my employer gave me a dose, I got a job as a prostitute. My pimp who was Mr Fagan out of Oliver Twist used to collect the scabs from our fannies and sell them as 'snackettes' to our customers. They were OUR scabs from OUR personal fannies therefore we should have got to keep the money from them...cunts
(Wed 30th Jan 2008, 4:26, More)
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