b3ta.com user daveshane
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The dude in The Big Lebowski was based on me. That's all you need to know

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Best answers to questions:

» Debt pron

Debt Free
I am currently in a shitload of debt. But pretty soon I will be debt free AND loaded. - You see, I've come to an "arrangement" with a Nigerian fellow. *nods smugly, taps nose*
(Wed 29th Nov 2006, 23:17, More)

» Not Losing Your Virginity

signals, what signals?
Was rather infatuated with a girl I lived with, but being shy and insecure I didn't do anything about it except flirt and tell her how good she looked whenever I was really drunk.

One night I was lay on one of the two couches in the living room, stoned out of my gourd, and she came in from a night out looking all dishevelled and sexy.

Whilst chatting away as she lay on the other couch, she dropped "I'm dying for a snog" into the conversation. Me, being stoned (and a gormless cunt) didn't see the blatant come on, and said "you could have any bloke you wanted, you could..."

The next morning I punched myself in my stupid fat face. repeatedly.
(Tue 31st Oct 2006, 1:36, More)

» Local Nutters

one note harmonica man
There was this man in Manchester, who I havent seen around for a while now, who was probably not that insane at all but purely after some sympathy.

He'd stand, with his donkey jacket and flat cap on, playing into a harmonica, but only ever playing one note. so for a hundred yards either way of where he was standing, you'd hear "pheep" ... ... ... "pheep"... ... ... "pheep" ... ... ... "pheep"... ... ...

This would continue all day long.
(Sat 18th Sep 2004, 10:16, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

probably not the first tale like this
went out, got drunk, 6 or 7 of us went back to a mates flat, continued drinking and started getting stoned.

I went for a shit, finished up, came back out, wondered where everyone was hiding.

Yup, I fell asleep on the crapper for four hours with my trousers round my ankles.
(Wed 3rd Jan 2007, 23:19, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

The Accident Group
Was a graduate without a career (aren't we all?) and was going around various call centre jobs for a month or two at a time.

Started working for the above company on the first of the month, realised I DESPISED it (pressure pressure pressure) so left after the first week without telling anyone, and went to work (i.e. doss) in my mates comic shop. three weeks later, company goes under (you probably heard about everyone getting sacked by text?).

A few weeks later, nearly a full months salary appears in my account. My highest paid job ever - £850 for a week. Result.
(Mon 18th Sep 2006, 0:23, More)
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