b3ta.com user Mumm-ra
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Perpetually pissed, far too tall for my own good, currently running up silly amounts of debt. Frustrated at my lack of software for messing wit' photos.

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» I don't understand the attraction

Drinking just to get drunk
I mean this a little too seriously
"We're going to get absolutely shitfaced, you in?"
"No of course I'm not - I'm not 14"

Don't get me wrong, I drink lots. I enjoy drinking, and enjoy being tipsy, pissed and merry. But sitting there necking foul shots until someone chucks doesn't seem like fun. Being too wasted to remember or enjoy anything just seems pointless. I've done it, and I'll inevitably do it again, but I cannot for the life of me see the appeal. Can anyone (over the age of 15, until when it's still new, cool and exciting) explain?
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 16:04, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Veneration of parenthood
To be a parent, you just have to be able to stick it/get it in the right hole. It's not clever, or hard to do. So don't expect respect if your kid is a c*nthole, just because you managed to build them.

The respect comes if you're a good parent (i.e. the kid turns out happy and not a complete blight on society).
(Fri 16th Oct 2009, 16:06, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

"Could you send me an invite?"
No. Invite is a verb. If you are so mortally terrified of 4 syllable words that 'invitation' is beyond you, say "Could you invite me?".

"Can we sit down at some point today?" "But I already am sitting down."

This is a little bit off topic, but it's almost appropriate - our Global MD was giving a webinar(!) the other day, introducing our little business to the enormous American conglomerate that has bought us out. He actually, sincerely, and with no trace of self-awareness used the phrase "The world is now truly global". That's through Brent and into Bush territory. Luckily I had my phone on mute as Mr Tourette briefly inhabited my vocal cords...
(Fri 9th Apr 2010, 13:03, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Childproof electricity
Can't claim this one personally, but Mumm-ra senior (father of the clan), while at university (Manchester, circa 1971), managed to slip this past an actual physics undergraduate.

PhysicsGirl: "What are those little plastic plugs doing in the sockets?"
Dad: "Well, you've got a charge building up in the cable and it's got nowhere to go. If you don't put something in the socket, electrons will pour out over the floor..."
PG: "Really? You're joking..."
Dad, hardly able to believe luck: "No, seriously. That's where you get static electricity from..."

Just how much she believed him only became apparent when her friend's boyfriend approached him in the bar to remonstrate that this wasn't, in fact, strictly within the boundaries of truth. And they say education is getting easier...
(Fri 19th Mar 2010, 13:21, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Oh and now...
My ex's housemate. The girl, not the gay bloke. Can't talk in her presence, it's great. Just like being 9 again.* Also, since my ex and I are still marvellously good friends, it's utterly doomed (and not just because she's a super-hot PhD in the prime of life and I'm an overweight waster). Hurrah for built-in excuses with every inappropriate crush...

*I was an early starter, like.
(Wed 4th Oct 2006, 15:48, More)
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