» Evidence that you're getting old

Nasal Hairs
I mean, where'd they come from? Hairline receding, nasal hairs sprouting! Are they just swapping growing habitats! And Radio 2 is the best, aaaah, I remember Steve Wright on Radio 1 and thought it was the best then and I laugh at Terry Wogan's jokes!! Oh and don't forget metric measurements! Little twunt in Builbase informed me they only sell plasterboard in 9.5 and 12.5 mm when I asked for a sheet of 3/8ths and 2 sheets of 1/2 inch!!! Wassock
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 15:48, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

God Bless Sainsbury's
who decided that the village I ran a pub in, wanted to film a 50's style ad. Up they trot, luvvies and all, and proceed to enroll evryone they can lay they hands on.
Dressed up all as right twunts in 10 sizes to big clobber held in place with safety pins.
Stood around fer ages then put me an my g/f as "the village fete beersellers" in a tent at the edge of shot.
My moment of glory, about 0.00025 of a second of tent with aformentioned twunts stood in front!
Byt whayy hay!, the "directors" and "ad agency" rented pub off me for two days as "toilets", yeah right, they ran up a £300 bar tab, paid me an g/f £150 each for 2 days work, paid bar tab, paid rent (rent???) and then gave us all the food they'd brought for filming as the other pub landlord was a greasy tosser they hated!
All in all, about £1500 for 2 days of dossing! Sorted......
ps. and they even paid my staff costs to keep the pub open for them, I love Sainsbury's
(Fri 12th Nov 2004, 19:41, More)