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Russ Abbott never had to cope with this...
I work with a middle-aged lady who bears more than a passing resemblance to a slightly younger Bella Emberg, and is married to a Baldrick lookalike, neither of whom excel in fragrantness. On one occasion she decided to enrich our lives by announcing, I quote, "When I had my caesarian I had to be shaved, you know, down there. When I looked, the person shaving me was an old schoolfriend. It was strange having my nether regions shaved by someone I was at school with!" This was proclaimed during our firm's Christmas Dinner, in a not-discreet-enough voice...while she was sitting next to our boss.
On a previous work meal she informed those present that, while trying to get pregnant, she had to resort to IVF because Baldrick's "sperm swim in the wrong direction". This coming from the person who records her (and her teenage daughters') periods in her work diary (in pencil before the event then inks them in - in red - after) and has been known to leave floaters and skidmarks in the office loo. And someone claimed once to have spotted her pleasuring herself under her desk. Nice.
(Fri 7th Sep 2007, 19:39, More)