b3ta.com user elyobelyob
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» Lost...

Couple of things
When I was about 10 years old the while family were out on a skiing holiday. At the top of the mountain, one of my skis came off. But of course they have brakes. Iced up brakes unfortunately as I watched my ski picking up to terminal velocity and heading off down the mountain. Only way to get down was to ski on my boots. Half way down the mountain I find my ski stuck in the snow. "What luck, it must have flown off that jump and landed that way". Yes, I told everyone the story over and over all evening, only as a 10 year old can. Then about 9pm someone said, "Oh, that was your ski was it? Almost killed me, but I managed to stop it." My only story of the day ruined. The shame.

Oh, and I lost my entire dole money once. Was walking back with a crate of beer, and a big smile. Got home, discovered I had no money for two weeks, but had beer. Have a guess what happened next.
(Tue 7th Dec 2004, 15:45, More)

» My Worst Date

Frosted glass
\unlurk ... A few years back desperate for a shag, I pulled a girl that looked a little less normal. Eyes too close together, that sort of stuff. Anyway, I go out on the balcony to have a quick smoke. She's got frosted glass from the balcony to the bathroom. The sight of her bending over and wiping her arse really took the shine off the evening.
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 12:08, More)

» Mugged

Paris, France
After a night out on the lash, I came up with the bright idea of scoring some grass. Not knowing any French didn't put me off, so off I stumbled asking the dodgiest looking geezer I could find.

He agreed and off we walked. He said "wait here", and came back two minutes later handing me a little bag of grass. Despite being totally pissed I could tell that it wan't grass of the Mary Jane variety, but grass as in the Wimbledon tennis variety.

It was at this point that I realised he was putting his hand in my pocket to steal my money.

When he clocked I knew, he did a quick grab and ran away with the ten quid or so in my pocket. It then dawned on me I had a half drunk pint of lager I'd stolen from the bar in my inside coat pocket which would make a great projectile.

Having beer in it was the only problem, so I quaffed it and trundled off home. Anyway, not an over exciting finish, but if he'd stuck his hand in my socks he'd have found the £200 or so, I'd secreted away before looking about.
(Sat 17th Jun 2006, 16:05, More)