b3ta.com user MagicallyInept
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Profile for MagicallyInept:
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Not Very Good.


Hi. My name is McFly Jackson, i am 23 and live in London. I work in the film industry.

You can contact me at:

goonerforever AT hotmail DOT com

Here is me:

Recent front page messages:

A Life In Photos

He Will Be Missed
2nd FP - Thank You
(Tue 26th Oct 2004, 14:16, More)

In Bad Taste - Good!

With Bob You Can !!
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 15:01, More)

Best answers to questions:

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

i used to have many internet friends but i only met a few in real life
one is my best friend,
one is my hairdresser,
and the other one is my fiancee.

i do not go on the net that much these days due to policy changes by nazi-work bosses and fiancee distrusting internet friendships as she knows thats how we met (we were both in relationships then too).

in 2003, a year after i cancelled my msn/icq etc profiles i get an email from a girl i used to talk too. i ignored it. then i got more and more forwarded jokes and stuff so i blocked her. next i recieved an email saying it is over, weird internet girl has dumped me??, she hates me because i blocked her. over the next few weeks my email password kept changing, i had to reset it with one of those secret question things everytime. now knowing she has access to my emails i was a bit freaked out but got over it. then it got weird.

going downtown london one day i saw a girl looking at me and i thought it looked like the said girl, but she was from leeds, so i passed the thought off. i saw her again a few times but thought my mind was playing tricks on me until one night i noticed the automatic light in my garden came on. hoping to see a fox a peek on the window and i see a figure. fuck i think and grab my dads putter and wake my brother getting excited at facing a burgler. stepping into the garden communicating with my 3-wood wielding brother (in calvin klein tighty-whiteys) with army style hand signals we look to the trees/back fence for the intruder. i don't know where my bravery came from but i lept over the fence into the pitch black alleyway and could hear footsteps and some kind of scrathing coming from round the corner where people who live at the end park there cars. gripping the putter i tightly i sneak round the corner and in my shock i see the weirdo girl with a stone in her hand scratching "DIE U BASTA" into the car and everything made perfect sense. by the way - when we swapped photos i sent her a photo of my neighbour Dan's car (his Merc was better than my Ford Focus). she really had been stalking me. i had to give evidence to the police about her destroying my mates paintwork but i didnt want to press charges or get a restraining order. i talked to her and she was pretty sane. she told me she loved me?? and had been in london for 2 months living with her uncle. she followed me to work, she had seen my fiancee, my brother, my baby cousin. she followed me to Brighton on the train when i went there for the weekend. she even smoked the same cigarettes as i did after she collected my cigarette butts. in the end she said sorry and she went home and she has either forgotten me or she is very stealthy. but in the end i get to tell everyone i had a real life stalker and she was a right sort too ;)

(Mon 20th Mar 2006, 16:19, More)

» My Worst Date

never to forget my friend
who made a date with a girl we knew from school. he decided to meet her in our local pub. now my friend is pretty shy so she was standing there alone looking around while he is hiding behind the fruit machines. he plucks up the courage to go and meet his own date and then i had one of the best laughs of my life.
i don't want to embarass her but her name was Rachael Thompson...
anyway he approched, she smiled, then he put his hand in her drink got an icecube and threw it on the floor, saying well that broke the ice. Funny. Then she demanded another drink. He tried to take drink off her pouring it over her chest in the process. Never one to cut his losses he decided to dry her using his hands to wipe her, sexually harassing her it seemed to the pub. Next my friend goes for a napkin on the table, drops it, picks it up and as he rises headbutts the poor girl in the chin knocking her back onto a table of drinks. Completely drenched she turns over to reveal a nice shard of glass in her back. Obviously needing medical attention she says to her moronic date, "ben can you take me to the hospital please", "after me beer" i think was his reply...
They are getting married next year!!
(Fri 22nd Oct 2004, 10:24, More)

» Out of my depth

there are some things that are best forgotten
but when it's question of the week....

when i was a kid, about 12 i learnt how to moonwalk and at every family event i was instructed to dance like michael jackson a la smooth criminal complete with hat. after i would flip the hat off and collect about a fiver. great job! but then came a holiday in spain at a huge community bbq. where my parents forced me on stage infront of about 500 people. the usual confident McFly was a bit nervous but i thought fuck it. i started well. everyone was clapping and cheering until i tried to jump onto a raised platform. my jelly legs didn't make the 2' jump. i landed chest first followed by chin, nose, forehead. everyone laughed at me like i was a cunt but my humiliation had not finished. totally embarassed i thought it best to run off. i jumped down and ran outside only to step on a wet mat, land on my bony arse and fall into the outdoor pool. fuckbolloxcunt.
(Fri 15th Oct 2004, 12:00, More)

» My Worst Date

Well The Date Was Fine...
I met a gorgeous girl in a bar in London, we agreed to go out for dinner a few days later.
Everything went extremely well, we had a slap up meal, we walked romantically through London on a warm summers night. We went to a good nightclub, we got drunk, we danced, she thought i was a God. Then we went back to hers and had amazing sex for a a few hours.
I went home in the morning and had no plans on seeing my second night stand again - i had my great shag - job done. She never had my number so things went on for me as normal.
Not a bad date story you say.... Correct
But 15 months later i got a call from the C.S.A telling me how much money i owe my new daughter ...
(Sun 24th Oct 2004, 18:44, More)

» Shoddy Presents

trickery not to plan
my mum liked to disguise presents in various boxes so i could not tell what it was from the shape and size of the package. my mum had some very interesting ways to do this and every year i was baffled trying to figure out what i was to open on christmas morning. i think my aunt decided to employ this technique one year, i must have been about 10. my dad had me on video camera - this huge shoulder mounted thing from the mid 80's! all the attention seemed to be on as i fervently tore the wrapping off to expose a kellogs cornflakes box. sensing that this was surelypart of my aunts trickery i opened the box to find that indeed i had recieved a half eaten box of kellogs cornflakes. as you can imagine i wasnt very impressed but still being the polite child i was i thanked her for the gift. a week later my aunt gave me my real present, which i think was an action man covered in milk with a spoon through his neck.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 10:37, More)
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