» Personal Hygiene

Hospital
I'm currently sat here at 7:17 am not having had a shower in a long time.

It all started about 3 weeks ago, 2 operations, bla bla stitchy stitchy don't get them wet. Would have been easy enough if one set of the stitches wasn't in my ARSECRACK.

Got even worse a week after this, armpit is slightly pongy and a bit sore, i ignore it. Go play a night of pool with the lads and come home with a lump in my armpit the size of a golf ball. Bit worried, go to bed.

Wake up in 4 hours time and wonder why I'm soaking wet, why my bedsheets around my arm are brown and why my arm hurts more than imaginable.

Turns out it was an abscess caused by a blocked sweat gland after not showering for a week and having problems there before. The pus ridden monstrosity had burst while i was asleep, releasing pus and poison everywhere that smelt worse than rotting meat (used to work in a rotisserie, side tip, don't workin a rotisserie!) and was a little scary cos my oxter had made it...

The process they heal these with involves having a hole in your arm for around 2 weeks (there is still a hole in my armpit as we "speak") which is packed with stuff to absorb excess pus and arm curds and so that it heals from the bottom up so as not to create a void in my arm. Not cool, cue every 2 days, smelly old me going to hospital to have this changed and nearly choking on the smell of the crazy arm cheddar coming out of my pits.

Stitches out of ass and leg today woo and yay. Arm still being poked for at least another week, not so woo and yay.

Length? Sorry, It's my first time. *POP* posting cherry, bye bye.

*edit* jesus, 2 years as a lurker...
(Fri 23rd Mar 2007, 7:25, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Nope
No, I haven't. I don't want to.

Reading replies made me cry. I'm a 21 year old male thats perfectly in control over his emotions. I come here to be entertained. After reading about 4 pages, I got in bed, snuggled Mrs Knifeh and woke her up to tell her I love her.

Dwelling on death was done in the dark ages. As a race, I think we've progressed past morbid stories of destruction and doom.

Please B3ta, stop this.

Next weeks QOTW better fucking be about puppies or kittens on about how many beans B3tans can eat in a minute.

Knifeh health update too, for those still tracking from the last posts. Current status, 3 abcesses and 3 teeth that need removed. There is no god. I would have shot myself for saying that 5 years ago >.<

Fuck you length.
(Mon 3rd Mar 2008, 5:11, More)

» My most treasured possession

Timewaster
I just read the whole damn thread so far. I have assessed scripting work on Tuesday for Uni, I have an incredibly messy room to tidy, I missed watching a thunderstorm outside and I should be working on the game I'm helping develop (yay me, instaplug: www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/387592 was the flash version to get the idea out there, up for Game of the Year on Newgrounds).

The only thing that seems precious to me after this immense waste of time (apart from my Natalie, I'm at a loss when she's ten yards away from me, let alone lost to a fire...) is time itself.

We waste SO MUCH time in today's society, be it the interwebs or just sitting around doing nothing. I cannot remember where I heard it, but I always remember an analogy that was used to demerit the smoking of pot. It makes you ok with being bored, and this is the time that you should be spending learning a new skill or developing relationships etc.

Time is so precious and we seem to spend an awful lot of it doing sweet fuck all. I'm half way through tidying up now, done a bit of scripting and my missus is ok, just text her. I'm trying to make better use of my time and so should you all.

TLDR: My missus or my Ibanez Jem 7VWH
(Sun 11th May 2008, 16:33, More)

» Blood

Pearoasty health problemy loosely related story
Hello folks. People may or may not remember back from the personal hygiene QOTW, my troubles with operations and the like.

My only really gross encounter with blood and it's skanky bodily relatives is when I was suffering from a few abcesses and cysts during the summer of 2007. Being a chap of large stature (read: fat cunt) and working in a warehouse, sweat having nowhere to go was an immense problem. This culminated in me having several cysts etc during that summer.

Incoming Pearosty bit, but it's roasted nicely.

I'd just been in hospital for 2 procedures, removal of a cyst on my thigh and the failed removal (NHS guys I love you to pieces, you kick ass 99% of the time, this was the 1%) of a pilonidal sinus, or for those not so schooled in lumps and bumps, an abscess in the top of my arsecrack caused by arse hair forming a nest under the skin due to an enlarged pore for some ungodly reason. I'd like to add at this point that to preserve my stitches, my personal hygiene wasn't great and I wasn't able to shower properly for the duration of my stitches.

Got even worse a week after this, armpit is slightly pongy and a bit sore, i ignore it. Go play a night of pool with the lads and come home with a lump in my armpit the size of a golf ball. Bit worried, go to bed.

Wake up in 4 hours time and wonder why I'm soaking wet, why my bedsheets around my arm are brown and why my arm hurts more than imaginable.

Turns out it was an abscess caused by a blocked sweat gland after not showering for a week and having problems there before. The bloody pus ridden monstrosity had burst while i was asleep, releasing pus and poison everywhere that smelt worse than rotting meat and was a little scary cos my oxter had made it...

The process they heal these with involves having a hole in your arm for around 2 weeks which is packed with stuff to absorb excess pus and arm curds and so that it heals from the bottom up so as not to create a void in my arm. Not cool, cue every 2 days, smelly old me going to hospital to have this changed and nearly choking on the smell of the crazy arm cheddar coming out of my pits.


I still to this day have some impressive scars from last summer. I had my pilonidal attacked again by my private surgeon, another abcess removed from my right armpit, one more from my left armpit and another from my inner thigh. The wonderous thing about still being a fat cunt is the fact that it's reoccuring at the moment.

I currently have a cyst that's inside the scars in my right armpit, another cyst on my inner thigh and one in my left armpit, but that ones only a baby.

Any medical betans about to give me health advice other than "Lose wait you fat cunt" would be great. I already wash in Hibiscrub and shower twice a day if I can.
(Fri 8th Aug 2008, 4:00, More)

» Stupid Dares

Surfing of sorts
Picturesque autumn evenings are fantastic for having huge bonfires in my mates back garden. Plenty of beer is consumed and much fun is had by all.

When people get drunk, silly thing happen with fire. The mate in questions land is rather big and he owns a tractor, thus owning a diesel tank. Filling 2 litre bottles with diesel and pouring on a fire to make the biggest mushroom cloud possible is always a giggle.

The dare consisted of something a little different though. We were burning the remains of an old house, seeing as his folks clear houses and redo them. Chairs, couches etc were broken up. I was dared to break a chair up and throw it on the fire and "surf" the chair for as long as possible.

Not being one to back out I of course went ahead, broke the bottom of the chair out, threw it on and started riding the "wave."

Wasn't till my shoes were black and my trousers caught fire that I decided this was a bad idea apparently...

Oh well, you're only 18 once. 3 years have passed and I can guarantee this will happen again next time we have a bonfire...

Look no length joke! Hows that for originality!
(Fri 2nd Nov 2007, 8:19, More)